Trauma bonding
Is it trauma bonding when you become friends with someone because you both hated math in school? The internet would have you think so. However, a 1993 study titled Emotional Attachments in Abusive Relationships explains that trauma bonding is “the notion that strong emotional attachments are formed by intermittent abuse.” Trauma bonding is when a victim, foiled in a cycle of abuse, still feels a deep sense of attachment with their abuser or the person causing them harm. This is why just stepping out of or breaking a toxic relationship feels difficult, because you feel attached to your abuser and the false sense of security that they might be enveloping you in, experts have pointed out.
Trauma dumping
Trauma dumping, according to Newport Institute, is the act of sharing or continually repeating traumatic stories from one’s past without caring about the mental space of the other person, the relationship you share with them, and doing so in settings that might be inappropriate or without giving the listener enough context. However, the internet tends to often confuse it with ‘venting’ which you could be doing with a friend, generally complaining about life. The thing with trauma dumping, though, is that it can be an unpleasant experience for both the person doing it and the person at the receiving end. The person talking about their trauma might be left with the feeling of guilt or for having ‘overshared’ at the end of the action. On the other hand, the person listening to this might not have the emotional or mental bandwidth to have process the information and they could also feel guilty for not appropriately comforting their friend.
Love language
Words of affirmation, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts, and quality time — these five ‘love languages’ have taken over the internet. These were first described by Gary Chapman in his debut book in 1992 as ways of experiencing love. However, experts have ascribed that people receive and show love in different ways that go beyond these five categories and that might change as they grow in life. The other side of the love languages theory is also that these are too broad to be considered accurate in many contexts, psychologists have pointed out.
Manifestation
If you’re on Instagram, you’d recognise how excessive the usage of the term ‘manifestation’ is. If the influencers are to be believed, you can manifest anything by ‘verbalising’ it or ‘sending good energy out in the universe’. However, manifestation in psychology is wanting or desiring something so much that you subconsciously start working towards achieving it.
It, in essence, works on the same principle of ‘fake it till you make it’, or ‘believing something into existence’. However, what one has to remember that actually working towards the goal is the only way of achieving it.
Gaslighting
While gaslighting in layman terms is used to describe situations where someone makes you doubt your version of reality by lying, the actual psychological definition is used for extremely severe or intense cases. According to the American Psychological Association, to gaslight is “to manipulate another person into doubting their perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events” to an extent that it could induce mental illnesses.
An example of gaslighting can be when someone is deflecting accountability or refusing to take the blame for their actions, while simultaneously trivialising your emotions or your version of a story. Interestingly, gaslighting doesn’t just happen in personal or romantic relationships, but can happen even in professional settings since a power dynamic is what usually lies at its core.
