EVER SINCE El Buli?that famed temple of all things gastronomic and molecular?shut, I?ve been mighty happy, and somewhat scared that Ferran Adria will turn his attention to deconstructing wine, and the biggest farce purveying it?we, the sommeliers!
Okay, not all of us are an absolute waste. While I uphold that we have a certain task to perform and there is value to be added through our professional presence, I do concede that a clear majority out there wouldn?t make it out of a pothole alive. Biblically speaking, should there be a second ?great flood? and should a Noah be appointed to load his ark with a pair of every species, he might just omit my lot, preferring to put a bow tie on a pair of jackass penguins and asking them to wax eloquent about a distant vintage. Nobody would really miss us on that voyage.
The reason is simple?being a yet-undefined field, all sorts of posers can call themselves sommeliers. The consumer knows no better and is too busy being entertained through odd events and dinner spectacles to realise that the essence of sommellerie, the idea of recognising nuances and tactile sensations, is being casually crucified!
First of all, a person who merely addresses a gathering or conducts a dinner isn?t a sommelier. He may be a taster but a sommelier has to know a lot more. He should be capable of not just describing a wine but knowing how and when to serve it, alongside what dish or cuisine, to glorify what occasion, and to revere what clientele. A good sommelier doesn?t just upsell wines; his aim is to ensure the right match, not just of food and wine but also of occasions and pockets. He should also be able to guide your wine knowledge further by helping you find and try wines similar to other wines that you may have enjoyed at other instances. He doesn?t take notes, he remembers.
Today, in India, visiting foreign ones aside, very few true sommeliers serve the floors of our fine-dining establishments: a handful in Delhi and next to none in a city as gastronomically astute as Mumbai. It is truly a sad state of affairs. Tasters and consultants abound but that is exactly the kind Noah may wish to skip.
In India, there is but one institute to train sommeliers (http://iwbs.in) and the tax structures make the education costs a tad prohibitive. But ?sommellerie?, like bartending, is seen as a lesser job. Young aspiring hospitality students prefer to join big chains with the lure of becoming the general manager in less than a decade. With the current tourism boom, they aren?t too far off. The result of this fast-track career path makes quality of service suffer tremendously and sommellerie, like being a good chef, doesn?t happen overnight. But serving wines for a lifetime doesn?t exactly amount to a respectable career path for the youth today. Sad, because, even after more than a decade in this field, it still elates me to serve others and share forth of good taste and experiences.
F&B outlets too don?t have any standards as to whom they admit as a wine server. As long as the server doesn?t topple over his own two feet seems to be qualification enough. But, as the consumer travels and becomes more aware, hotels first and restaurants soon enough will have to step up their acts. It is already happening but be assured that, in spite of my ?busy? schedule, I still find enough time to polish my own shoes to the point of shining toes and kicks.
Sometimes I wonder if I should have, like all good north Indian sons, pursued the line of family business: it may have put food on the table. But then, I think about all the wine that I have put on my table, all the lovely moments shared with people gathered around a bottle, new friends earned and old ones cherished, and the food always found a way. ?Sommellerie? is a noble profession; it is a constant process of learning, a study to hone ones skills in order to unravel a wine better till one realises that it is an exercise introspective in nature. True Satori then happens when one emerges knowing not just wines but oneself better, eternally humbled by the ability of our senses to measure the world around us.
Resurfacing from the profundity back there, you may realise that I wrote this piece entirely in the masculine form, for you will scarcely find women being forwarded the opportunity by most establishments. Aargh! Don?t even get me started there!
The writer is a sommelier