?Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.? ?Albert Einstein
When Deepshikha Pramanik moved to Bangalore six years ago with a job in a BPO, life revolved around night shifts and rising workload. What took the backseat were her relationships. ?My then boyfriend was also working in a BPO and I never got to see him as we worked in different shifts,? recalls the 30-year-old. ?Our off days did not coincide. It was like a long-distance affair carried out through calls and texts. Finally, our relationship ended.?
Deadlines, night shifts, long hours, frequent travel and the inability to take a break most of the time makes work-life balance for BPO/IT professionals a difficult task in today?s world.
Swarnalatha Iyer, consultant psychologist, feels achieving a balance between work and home is a continuous effort; getting it right is an iterative process. ?It is a choice to be made by each individual and he/she has to bear the consequences of their choice,? she says.
Though some IT companies offer employee-friendly measures?work from home options, flexi hours, creches and more?these policies are typically only for women. While companies think they are being sensitive to women, what they are actually doing is perpetuating the stereotype that only women?and only married ones or mothers at that?need work-life balance. Married men, especially fathers, struggle to eke out a balance, so spouses just have to ‘understand’. And it?s the singles, like Sidharth Mehra, who get a really raw deal.
The 26-year-old software engineer hardly has any time to pursue his passion, playing basketball. ?I love playing the sport. It’s a complete stress buster, but I don’t have free evenings,? he says. ?If you are a single guy and staying alone, the common perception at work is ?he can stay long hours?. But just because I?m not married, doesn?t mean I?m married to my office.?
?What a lot of companies don?t realise is that everyone needs to have a life outside work. Only then will they even be productive at work,? says a Kolkata-based psychologist. Of course, no matter how good your company HR policies are, your work-life balance still largely depends on your immediate boss. If you have a boss who equates the number of hours clocked to the amount of work accomplished, your social calendar will pretty much be one long, blank space, she adds.
Gender equations also have a huge rule to play. The current generation of middle class men grew with mothers who were either homemakers or working in jobs with fixed timings like teaching or clerical roles in banks and managed the house entirely on their own. The fathers rarely contributed to household chores, as it was considered a ?woman?s duty?. So while today?s men enjoy the benefits of a wife who brings in a handsome salary, they are unaccustomed to sharing household responsibilities, which often leads to conflict.
Mutual understanding, supportive partners and time management are the keys to a work-life balance. Or, one could end up where Prashanth Kumar (36) and Reema (32) did. When they got married, they both were working as software engineers with an MNC. But three years after marriage, Reema quit her high-paying job to take care of their son. ?Initially it was difficult for me to get used to the whole idea of not having an active career,? says Reema. ?But we had frequent fights, not because I left my job, but because I felt that my husband was just not spending time with us. It was as though he didn?t have to focus on home, since I was home all day.? His frequent overseas travels only made matters worse.
?Frequent business travel need not necessarily take a toll on family life. You just need to know how to deal with it. Any relationship needs a lot of acceptance for it to thrive,? adds Swarnalatha Iyer.
It?s extremely important to be honest about your evolving expectations. ?One has to be able to prioritise?both at work and at home. If you?re nearing a project deadline, let your spouse know that week days will be stretched. During this time, make an extra effort to spend more time with him/her during weekends,? says a counsellor. On the flipside, if your child has exams coming up, let your boss know that you will not be able to work late and make sure you?re there to coach your child and be there for him/her. Days like your child?s sports day or anniversaries or birthdays must be blocked regardless of work commitments, say experts.
They add that if this translates to promotion being delayed by a year or salary being hiked by 15% instead of 20%, one must realise that while moving a slower pace might not make one a star among your peers, it will keep one smiling and content. Signing out of the rat race is not a sign of defeat, but a matter of priority, and often, a reflection of maturity, they advise.
Instead of spending money on fancy gadgets and designer clothes, save and take frequent short vacations. Look out for long weekends on your calendar and plan ahead. ?After all, it?s more fun to have a flood of warm memories to look back to, than a fancy camera with no time to make the memories happen,? says a psychologist. Tips for harmony include planning activities with one?s spouse that both enjoy?it could be an hour of tennis, a swim together, a salsa class, time at an animal shelter or even a walk in the park. Experts say stick to it like one would to a deadline and this will provide a break from the daily drudgery.