‘What will people think?’
It is one of the most powerful questions shaping the lives of Non-Resident Indians (NRIs). For many families, working overseas is a form of social validation.
An NRI job brings pride, admiration and instant respect. A person working for the same company, with the same skills, is viewed very differently based solely on geography. Which is why, even as many NRIs may want to go back to India, they are often unable to make the big decision.
Nupur Dave, an NRI writer and community builder, listed top reasons on her podcast as to why the urge to return home for many may remain as an ‘almost’.
The financial trap
Money is a major trap that keeps one abroad, according to Nupur. When NRIs earn in dollars, pounds, or euros, the numbers create an immediate psychological effect. Financial success appears effortless when you live abroad and visit India.
She stated that earning ₹15 lakh in Gurgaon would barely turn heads, while earning $80,000 in New Jersey could make for a “success story.”
Over time, the salary figure itself becomes identity and protection against judgment, she added.
Better work culture
Work culture adds another layer. Many NRIs fear losing respect if they return to India, believing that meritocracy and professionalism exist only abroad. Yet, while foreign workplaces may offer structure and respect, immigrants often face invisible ceilings, and limited leadership opportunities, Nupur said.
Parental expectations
Parental expectations deepen the dilemma. For decades, success was defined as studying hard, going abroad and settling there. In many communities, living overseas remains the ultimate marker of achievement. Returning can feel like undoing years of sacrifice. she claimed.
Social expectations
Living abroad grants one automatic prestige, regardless of actual accomplishment, Nupur said. “NRIs fear that moving back to India means losing this respect. But what if, instead of asking ‘What if I fail?’, you asked ‘What if I fly?’ What if you join a company in India where you gain more respect than expected, move into leadership faster, or even help shape the culture?” she remarked.
What must NRIs do?
Nupur said the only solution out of the never-ending dilemma is owning your own life choices. “If you’re genuinely thriving abroad, stay, and own that choice fully. But if you’re staying because leaving feels like admitting defeat, because you can’t handle what people will think, because your identity is tied to earning in dollars, then you’re not free. The only real failure is living someone else’s life while your own remains unlived,” she said.