By Harish Iyer
“I am what I am take me as I am”. On September 6, 2018, the Honourable Chief Justice of India, Deepak Misra invoked the words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe as he spelt out the verdict on the Navtej Singh Johar v/s The Union of India case that read down Section 377 and restored the right of consenting adults to make-love in private without the state playing peeping tom. I assume that little would he have imagined that the same words would have to be repeated again and again by activists half a decade later when another constitutional bench is listening to arguments on Marriage Equality.
Post September 6, many opened their arms, doors and hearts to people who identified as LGBTQIA+. There was and is a wave of acceptance. Largely, as a queer person, I can ascertain that the needle has moved. However, a small portion of those who marched with us and held the pride flags and championed every queer rights activist on social media, treated their own kith and kin with non-acceptance.
Alas, when love comes out of the closet, hate peeps out too. But unfaced, queer folks didn’t go back into their dingy closets. Once out, they were about. It is queer to thrive. It is queer to find their own vessels. It is a survival technique. For those who didn’t find acceptance within their families, formed their own families of choice.
The pandemic was a stark reminder of social inequities. *Raj and *Rahul ran away from their families as they wanted them to date *Simran and *Pooja respectively. Their town was one where intercaste and interreligious heterosexual love affairs is met with death threats. It shouldn’t take a genius to understand what would have been their plight if they lived openly there. But both of them decided to leave their little town to find jobs in a bigger city.
Their families chased them for a while and decided to break all ties with them around the time of the pandemic. This was the time when Raj fell seriously ill due to COVID-19 related complications. Rahul ran from pillar to post to accumulate funds. Finally, when a crucial decision had to be taken, of whether to keep Raj on life support, whether to remove him, or whether to have a new line of treatment. These decisions can be taken only by a family member. Rahul was not recognised as a family member. Eventually, Rahul called Raj’s family. They did not come to see their son. Raj passed away.
The worries for the grieving Rahul didn’t end there. Raj’s family knew Rahul now. They came back to stake claim on the little house they had built together, but was in the name of Raj. Raj had life insurance, the money went to his family, so did all the wealth that was accumulated by both of them but was saved in Raj’s name. Rahul and Raj lived a life of belonging to each other. However, now, Rahul was left perpetually broke with endless longing.
The fight for marriage equality is a fight for Rajs and Rahuls and the Simrans and Poojas of all religions and castes to be truly free. This is not just about them living fulfilling lives, but the right to die peacefully too, in the arms of their beloved. Like all heterosexual couples, LGBTQIA+ persons also deserve the right to leave the world with the assurance that after them, their loved ones will not be bereft of the wealth they accumulated.
This is not something restricted to the urban or the elite, but something that is all pervasive through the human race. We are a significant part of the population, but I need to acknowledge that I am a privileged lot who can be out-and-about about my life. Many don’t have that privilege. So, in my voice, is the voice of a collective force of a love that dare not speak its name.
Section 377 has been read down to ensure that law does not interfere with adults making love with each other in private. Being legally recognised as a couple is the next step. Parliament should have discussed it. It has a bill from our strong ally. MP Supriya Sule and MP DNV Senthilkumar tried introducing bills that if introduced would expand family to include LGBTQIA+ people. The bills are yet to see the light of the day for a discussion. If one would listen to what the other MPs say when Shashi Tharoor tried to introduce a bill to decriminalise section 377, one can hear giggles and homophobic jibes. We have approached the courts because they see us, they hear us and both sides, even the ones who oppose this, deserve a respectable discussion and a debate.
Everyone under the sky should have equal rights. Marriage should not be a heterosexual privilege but a choice for everybody regardless of gender. I pin my hopes on the Supreme Court. If we make small wins, we will remember that it will be incremental with time. If we lose, we will keep fighting. One thing we are not doing, is going back. There is no going back.
*names of individuals have been changed to protect identities
(The author is an award-winning equal rights activist.)
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