An Indian man, who spent seven years in the United States before returning to India, said that he has been “feeling lost” and is now reconsidering returning to the US. He revealed that he is the only son, has old parents to take care of, and is also battling a chronic illness.
‘Returned to India, reconsidering US’
The 31-year-old turned to Reddit for advice. “Returned to India for family, now facing chronic illness and reconsidering the US. Feeling lost,” read the title of his Reddit post.
The man went on to describe his situation: “At 30, I finally returned to India. My parents (now 72 and 65) had been urging me to come back for years, and as they grew older, being the only son, I felt a sense of responsibility. We also have a business and real estate here, so the move wasn’t too difficult financially.”
He added that it has been two years since he settled back. While he enjoys a “comfortable life,” he admitted that he doesn’t really “love” his lifestyle.
Diagnosed with chronic illness
Then came the health scare, which changed everything. “A month ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic autoimmune disease that went undiagnosed for over a decade, which requires lifelong treatment,” he revealed.
The man, who uses the username “bigfish004”, explained that although treatment is available for his condition, the medication costs him between $10,000–20,000 (Rs 8.7 lakh to 17 lakh) per month to import in India. “[This] is not sustainable long term. In the US, with insurance, it would be far more affordable. These meds are only available in the US and a handful of EU countries, and I may need to take them lifelong to prevent further organ damage,” he wrote.
The man said that he is on high-dose steroids to suppress his immune system and takes 7-10 medicines on a daily basis. But, he said, the side effects are “worse than the disease itself”.
“The side effects are brutal: bone and muscle pain, horrible insomnia, and episodes of psychosis from high cortisol levels. Some days, it’s a struggle to even think straight with the brain fog. The disease has already caused ~25% organ damage, so this isn’t theoretical anymore,” he expressed.
‘Delhi pollution worsened my situation’
He also noted that Delhi’s pollution has accelerated the progression of his condition, making it even harder to continue living there.
“This has brought me to a painful crossroads,” he admitted, before adding, “If I had just stayed in the US, I imagine I’d have advanced further in my career, built a stable life, and now have easier access to treatment.”
“Instead, after two years in India, I feel like I have to uproot myself all over again and try to return, this time with the added burden of chronic illness. Re-entering the US job market after two years away isn’t simple — especially with only 2.5 years left on my H1B and no green card filed. I’m also exploring EB-5, but that could take 2+ years,” he further wrote.
Family, he said, makes the decision even more difficult. With his parents being old and emotionally dependent on him, leaving again feels daunting. He also shared that he has been speaking to a woman about marriage, but she is unsure about moving abroad, and he has not yet revealed his medical condition to her. “That conversation weighs heavily on me,” he wrote.
‘I have a net worth of $1 mn’
The man also said that although he is somewhat stable financially, with his net worth being $1 million (Rs 87.4 million), and his family’s net worth being somewhere between $5 and $6 million (Rs 437 and 524.4 million). However, he admitted that money doesn’t make the decision easier, given the amount that he will have to spend going forward.
“Also, not knowing how long I’d be able to work full-time time depending on my condition, costs to raise a family if I decide to have one. What’s harder is the constant feeling of starting over, again and again, without stability.”
He asked Reddit: “Should I endure the complications of visas and job hunting to try and return to the US for treatment and stability? Or should I stay back in India, accept the risks, and see where this path leads?”
‘Get second opinion; Don’t return to US’: Redditors suggest
Many flocked to the comments section of the post and shared their thoughts. One doctor suggested, “Before you think about US vs India, let your health come first. Get a second or even third opinion from the best doctors in India. Fly to another state if needed to see the top specialist for managing/curing the problem. Once you have a clear treatment plan/path of how you will be treated, then decide. I am a doctor. Without asking/going into the specifics, autoimmune diseases are almost always related to chronic stress. Medication alone will not help. A complete lifestyle makeover is needed, and cut out the stress as much as possible.”
“I don’t think moving back to the US is the correct move for you. Right now, for an H-1B or a green card, there is really no scope. And if you are in IT or CS, it’s only downhill from here for immigrants with all the outsourcing and AI. Look at relocating to a different city for half of the year and see if your health improves. Maybe there are alternative paths to get that medicine that you don’t know about so far. Like help from a foundation or such,” added another.
A third commented, “You’re Indian. The only way you’re getting a green card is through marriage to a citizen. Don’t deal with the stress because an H-1B would mean stress. Trump is already bragging about how 1.5 million immigrants have left since he took office.”