You are on a serious quest to find ‘the one’ but the fear of ghosting, breadcrumbing, submarining or emotional unavailability is muddying the waters. So, what do you do? With no clear rules or templates in sight, how do you navigate the complex world of love and relationships? Enter dating gurus or coaches, who help you to not just overcome your blind spots, but also identify patterns that may hinder your romantic pursuits. They may also assist in revamping your dating app profiles and make you first-date ready. The coaches do all these through one-on-one—in-person or online—sessions and even cohorts. They give you homework and assignments too.
Bengaluru-based Radhika Mohta runs Elevate, a dating accelerator and day-long online programme for marriage-minded singles. She asks her clients to share their dating profiles, and run through them—to see what kind of pictures they have put up or what they are trying to say through their profiles. “I also ask them to write a manifestation journal, which allows them to reflect on how they want to see their future selves, what they are looking for in a partner, and what their non-negotiables are. To this day, nobody has written in the journal that they want a partner who is 6 ft tall,” she added.
Mohta conducts a session, spanning nine hours, once a month. “I don’t take more than 12 people in one cohort,” she said, adding that she prefers a group-based approach as it helps individuals to discuss matters among themselves and end up feeling that they aren’t alone in this.
The day-long session costs Rs 12,000, which highlights how Indians are willing to put a conscious and mindful effort into dating and relationships. And why not? “The quality of your relationships has a lot of impact on the quality of your overall life,” she adds.
Mohta is part of a growing tribe of dating coaches who mentor individuals into not only improving their relationship with their partners but with themselves as well.
“Healthy relationships with others can only happen if you have a healthy relationship with yourself,” says Mumbai-based dating coach Pratik Jain, who conducts one-on-one sessions with men, and also interacts regularly with his almost 16,000 followers on Instagram. While a one-time consultancy session with Jain costs anywhere between Rs 4,000 and Rs 8,000; the in-person coaching, which he conducts across cities including Mumbai, Pune, Bengaluru and Gurugram-Delhi, costs Rs 17,000 for a five-hour programme. Then there is a ‘reformation’ programme for those who are willing to dedicate themselves for six to eight months, which costs Rs 57,000.
Meanwhile, a ‘mini reformation’ programme is priced at Rs 33,000. Jain also coaches online, for which he charges between Rs 22,000 and Rs 36,000, depending on the duration of the course.
So, how lucrative is becoming a dating coach as a career option? “Well, I have started to do well especially in the past two years,” said Jain, as he pegged his annual earnings through it to be somewhere between Rs 35 lakh and Rs 45 lakh. Speaking of clientele, he prefers men between the ages of 26 and 45 years with extremely successful careers. While those from tier-I cities comprise the major part of his client base, “people from even tier-II cities call me, but not so much from tier-III cities”, he added.
Dating and relationship coach Simran Mangharam, too, caters to clients spanning across tier-I and -II cities along with those from abroad. “While the gender ratio is roughly 50:50, the age group ranges from 21 to 75 years,” she said, highlighting how the elderly are a neglected lot when it comes to dating. “They are very lonely and they are very keen,” she commented. Speaking on the issues she mentors people for, Mangharam said, “People come to me with all kinds of issues—how they are unable to find someone, how to start the dating journey, how to heal from a heartbreak. In fact, heartbreak remains a big part of my work. About 60% of my clients are heartbreak clients,” she added.
A one-on-one online session with her costs Rs 3,000. “I don’t take more than four sessions in a day,” she said.
According to the dating coach, the final leg of the journey for the clients is to actually understand themselves. For that, Mangharam employs several practical activities and exercises. “This is to know who they are, who they want to be with, on which app they should be on, as not everyone can handle a particular dating app, and then there are those who aren’t comfortable with any of the dating apps,” she added.
The demand for mentoring is evident from the fact that Mangharam catered to 300-350 clients last year.
The fact that Indians are willing to spend big on love can also be understood from the fact that India is the fifth fastest-growing market for dating apps, as per a 2022 report by data.ai. They spent Rs 254 crore more on the apps in 2022 compared to 2021.
And the business of helping people to find ‘the one’ doesn’t seem to end there. “If I get a client who says, ‘I am facing body image issues. I need to lose a few kilograms,’ I connect them to a nutritionist. If they say, ‘I don’t have good photographs,’ I connect them to professional photographers. I also connect them to counsellors and therapists if I feel there is a need,” said Mohta.
Mangharam says the same. “At times, I send my clients to therapy if I feel it could be something that needs psychiatric help, such as abuse or parents’ volatile marriage, which is impacting their relationships,” she added.
In the end, a successful dating life or relationship with a partner isn’t what the coaches guarantee, but a good relationship with oneself is what all of them bet on. “Remember, you are the cake and anybody else can only be the icing,” Mohta said.
