Except for gossiping, we spend more time trying to change people?s minds than anything else, according to Howard Gardner, Harvard University psychology professor. You will need persuasion skills to get your ideas heard and accepted; recruit and retain people; talk to bosses, customers, colleagues, and peers (and later the media, Wall Street analysts, and the board of directors); and deal with your spouse, children, extended family, and friends.

To persuade, before going into a situation, think about the change you want to make, consider the other person?s point of view, take into account the resistance you?ll likely receive, gather as much data as you can, and keep all this information in your head (or on paper). Then go talk to the person you need to influence and ask

• What do you want to achieve, retain, and avoid?

• Who, how, when, why, and what will contribute to making a decision?

• What are you willing and able to exchange, give up, barter, or negotiate?

Take what you learned from that person, add it to what you know from other analyses, and then present some options that meet what you both need, want, or expect.

Purposefully influencing is just thought-out conversation. If you make sense to people and you are talking with integrity, people will pay attention and possibly change to your way of thinking. It isn?t about hog-tying people to do something they don?t want to do. But it does mean being able to find out what they want and how they want it and giving it to them in as close to that manner as possible.

Even if you?re the boss and you can just say, ?Go do it,? you will have only light support, enthusiasm, and improvement from the person bossed. Instead, ask directed questions to get to mutual agreement.

Be prepared to accept the unacceptable response for now, though. Don?t be irritated, angry, or turn autocratic. Ratchet up your cooperative effort. Try again later. Time, tenacity, and finesse in your reengaging may turn the person around.

On your own, take the initiative to do a minirotation yourself by doing some ride-alongs with company sales people. It gives them a chance to learn about you and your work, and you to learn about theirs. You develop more connections in and outside the company, appreciate ?another world,? and broaden your generalist skills.

Be grateful for problems because if there weren?t any, you wouldn?t be needed. Problems make it fun. This is your job in life and in your work?to overcome obstacles and fix problems. Everything is about overcoming obstacles ? every novel, every movie, and every triumph in business or in life.

The fact that you choose to address problems puts you ahead of others who usually choose to ignore and tolerate them or, worse, make them bigger. You get the reputation as the ?go to? person when there is a hitch in progress because you won?t ignore red flags; accept suspect facts; turn a blind eye to questionable actions and practices; accept overly upbeat news and predictions without testing them out; plead ignorance; blame problems on rogue underlings; or take a deaf, dumb, and blind defense.

Find and define the right problem to fix as soon as possible. While you are getting ?your own house in order,? at the same time find out what your boss, boss?s boss, or boss?s boss?s boss has for problems, and try to solve those too.

I found (that) most people want to see their own career move forward, so I?d go off and do something they needed done. Sometimes I got a little bloodied, but I learned.

Offer options. Don?t ?bring a dead cat without a shovel.? You don?t have to be the personal problem resolver; there are lots of people to do that. You do have to be the leader who will listen, hear, persuade, and garner support from coworkers to get disputes solved. Allow creative conflict. Get the opposing position. Be willing to spend ?a period of time at each other?s throats.?

Stand on your group recommendation. If one out of 10 times your recommendation works, that is better than zero. And if you get two out of 10 times, you?ve demonstrated 100 percent improvement. It doesn?t take 10 out of 10 times. If you make a mistake, correct it. How you handle a setback is watched as closely as the setback. You don?t always have to be right, but you do have to act quickly to respond and redo.

When you solve problems, communicate it by telling people what your group did to solve the problem. The biggest benefit of solving a problem is that you?re free to proceed to the next one.

First, understand that ?No? is the standard answer or response from peers, bosses, and subordinates for reasons of budget, time, to argue an unpopular point of view, to test or challenge you, to be difficult, and sometimes out of laziness. ?No? is a complete sentence. It isn?t a complete answer. Don?t take it as a matter of course if you believe that it could or should be otherwise.

?No? doesn?t always mean ?No.? More often than not it means ?Maybe? or ?I?m not sure.? ?Won?t? is different from ?Can?t.? Unless you come back and fight for it, your opponents figured they were right.

The word ?No? means nothing to me.

Frankly, a quick ?No? is better than a long ?Maybe? because then you can step back, find a way to reapproach, and change your opponent?s mind; even though you may have to jump over hurdles to turn it into a ?Yes.?

Don?t react, but do respond. These are two different things. You can?t tuck and run when told ?No.? Keep asking in a pleasantly assertive manner, with a relaxed smile, and an undisturbed tone of voice, ?What if we did this…? What if we did that…? Can you tell me why…?? or almost anything starting with who, why, how, or when.

Pleasant nagging is sometimes required.

Eventually, a storm of gnats will wear them down.

You might turn the ?No? into a ?You?ve been after me four times on this issue. I don?t believe it, but go and do it. I may be wrong.?

Failing to challenge the ?No? is not helping the boss, the team, or the company. Agreeing with the boss is not helping him or her, nor is it grooming you for a bigger job. People respect you more if you bargain harder.

On the other hand, you need to be able to say ?No.? Give ?No? as early as you can so that the other side knows that you?ll say it and you give them time to decide their next step. Sometimes say ?No? when you?d usually say ?Yes? just as a test of the person?s convictions. Just as a good boss may say ?No? to you to teach you to fight for your position, a benefit of you saying ?No? is letting your people learn to fight for theirs too.

Extracted with permission from

TATA McGRAW-HILL

CEO Material

by D A Beneton

Reprinted by permission of TATA McGRAW-HILL; Excerpted from 9780070147270;

Price: 395; Pp 234