Working with insecure colleagues can be a difficult situation. Knowing how to respond when someone is jealous or threatened by your success can be tricky. It’s important to remember that their insecurity likely comes from a place of fear, whether it be the fear of not being good enough or that of failure. It’s also important to remember that while their behaviour might be frustrating, it is up to you to find ways to de-escalate situations and work together despite this insecurity.
Dr Chandni Tugnait, M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director – Gateway of Healing shares ways on Dealing with insecure colleagues at work can be challenging, but here are steps you can take to manage the situation effectively:
Acknowledge Their Feelings: The first step in dealing with insecure colleagues is acknowledging their feelings without judging or belittling them. Sometimes, people act out of insecurity because they feel like they have something to prove – to themselves and others. It may sound counterintuitive but acknowledging their feelings rather than attacking them will go a long way. Remind yourself that this person may not be acting out of malice; they may need a little extra reassurance that their work is appreciated and valued by their peers.
Be Understanding and Patient: Insecure people tend to take longer than others when it comes to making decisions or giving opinions. Hence, it would help to be understanding and patient when working with them. Try not to rush or make them feel pressured; instead, provide support and reassurance as needed. Additionally, resist the urge to compare their progress with others – this will only make them feel worse about themselves.
Set Boundaries: It is important to establish boundaries as soon as possible when working with an insecure colleague, so they don’t take advantage of your kindness or patience. Let them know what behaviours are acceptable and unacceptable in the workplace but do so gently so as not to trigger their insecurity even more. For example, if they become too aggressive with their ideas during meetings, let them know calmly yet firmly that there is no room for aggression in your team.
Encourage Positive Self-talk: Insecurity often stems from negative self-talk – those little inner voices telling us we’re not good enough or can’t do something. When interacting with your colleagues, try to encourage positive self-talk instead by focusing on what they can do rather than what they cannot do. Compliment their efforts and reinforce the idea that everyone makes mistakes and learns from them. Give credit where credit is due when possible and recognize their achievements publicly. This will help boost their confidence and motivate them to move forward.
Communicate Openly and Honestly: Be sure to communicate openly and honestly with your colleagues about any issues between you two. Let them know how their behaviour affects you without being confrontational or accusatory. This will allow both parties to understand each other better, hopefully leading to a more productive working relationship.
With patience and understanding on both sides, colleagues can develop strong working relationships despite feeling threatened or jealous of each other’s successes. Above all else, remember that everyone has moments of insecurity – even yourself – so treat your coworkers with kindness no matter how hard it may seem at times.