Sixteen seconds. That is all it took. Months after becoming one of the internet’s most unforgiving memes, ex- Astronomer HR head Kristin Cabot has finally spoken to New York Times and she is not sugarcoating the fallout at all.
The 53-year-old mother of two says a brief, alcohol filled moment at a Coldplay concert ended her career, wrecked her reputation, and turned her into what she calls “the most maligned HR manager in HR history.”
‘A couple of High Noons’
“I made a bad decision and had a couple of High Noons and danced and acted inappropriately with my boss,” Cabot told The New York Times, also admitting that Astronomer CEO Andy Byron was her “big happy crush.” “And it’s not nothing. And I took accountability and I gave up my career for that. That’s the price I chose to pay.
Cabot, who served as Chief People Officer at US tech firm Astronomer, says the backlash was brutal. After the video went viral, she became “a meme,” one she believes has made her “unemployable.”
“It has been like a scarlet letter; people erased everything I had accomplished in my life and achieved in my career. This can’t be the final word,” she told another publication, The Times of London. Trying to make sense of how fast her life changed, Cabot offered a bleak comparison, “I could have been struck by lightning, I could have won the lottery, or this could have happened.”
What exactly happened at Coldplay concert?
The infamous moment took place at a Coldplay concert, where the stadium’s kiss cam landed on Cabot and her boss. Instead of ducking or laughing it off, the two leaned into each other. A hug that spoiled everything, Sixteen seconds on a jumbotron and then everywhere else.
At the time, both Cabot and Byron were still technically married, though she later stressed that they were amicably separated from their respective spouses.
“We were sitting in the back of the stadium at the opposite end from the stage in the pitch black just feeling totally anonymous in an arena of 50, 60,000 people,” she told the UK Times. “We were just dancing, I’d had a few High Noons. Andy was standing behind me and we were dancing and I grabbed him.” “I didn’t hear the announcement that the jumbotron was coming, so suddenly I’m just seeing us on screen.”
‘Oh God, Andy’s my effing boss’
Cabot said the reality of the situation hit her in waves and fast. “My immediate reaction was, ‘Holy s–t, Andrew’s here,’” she told New York Times, referring to her soon-to-be ex-husband, who she realised was also in the crowd.
“We were in the middle of an incredibly and amazingly micable separation. I was worried I would embarrass him. He’s an amazing guy and does not deserve that. Then a beat later my mind turns to, ‘Oh God, Andy’s my effing boss,’ this is a bad look. Boston’s not a big town,” she told New York Times.
‘I wanted to dance and feel normal’
Cabot said she had only been hired months earlier and had learned roughly a month before the concert that Byron, too, was separating from his wife. She admitted developing feelings.
“I wanted to put a cute outfit on and go out and dance and laugh and have a great night,” she told the New York Times. “And that’s how it was tracking.”
Still, she said part of her knew better. “Some inside part of my brain might have been jumping up and down and waving its arms, saying, ‘Don’t do this,’” she admitted. But in the moment, she felt invincible. “I was on top of the world.”
‘As a woman, I took the bulk of the abuse’
The online response, Cabot said, was deeply gendered. “I think as a woman, as women always do, I took the bulk of the abuse,” she said to New York Times.
“People would say things like I was a ‘gold-digger’ or I ‘slept my way to the top,’ which just couldn’t be further from reality. The amount I sacrificed to get where I did in my career, the amount of hands I’ve had to take off my ass over the years, comments I’ve had to swat away from men,” Cabot told New York Times.
“I worked so hard to dispel that all my life and here I was being accused of it.”
The fallout inside Astronomer
Cabot said she and Byron immediately drafted an email to Astronomer’s board, but the clip spread before they could act. The board launched an investigation, placing both executives on leave. Byron resigned the next day. Cabot followed less than a week later, though she claimed the board had asked her to return. Instead, she walked away because of the sixteen seconds kiss cam moment and a couple of High Noons.