Picture these two table tops. An empty work desk with absolutely nothing on it. And a dining table with a jar of pickles, a medicine box, another jar of mouth fresheners, a tumbler of water, a newspaper, a salt-pepper set, scattered among multiple other things.
The first is how I prefer to live — a minimalist, clutter-free way of decor where nothing is ever left on open surfaces, safely tucked away in either drawers or cabinets. The second is a rough recollection of the house I grew up in — not extreme like a hoarder’s, but like most Indian houses, where nothing was ever thrown away. Practicality, as a principle, took priority over aesthetics.
It’s only recently, thanks to doomscrolling on Instagram, that I realised how much my parents’ home has dictated the decor of the one I live in. Dr Kedar Tilwe, consultant psychiatrist, Fortis Hospital Mulund & Hiranandani Hospital, Vashi, says that our upbringing plays a role in every big and small part of our life — right from the relationships we build to the colour we paint our wall.
He says, “The choices we might be making independently in life are subconsciously affected by our childhood. You might either be following what your family instilled in you, or reacting to it.”
‘Remnants of a life once lived’
Aaniya Johri, a 25-year-old Bengaluru-based student, falls in the prior category. Growing up, her home was always decorated with DIY things made by her mother and maternal grandmother. They were colourful, artsy, and “made her place look like a museum,” she says.
And now, she’s a maximalist who loves bright colours and intricate details. In her home, you’d find small knick-knacks in every corner. She hides a grin as she says, “I have a magnetic cloud keyholder and an elephant shaped cabinet in my washroom. I am flamboyant and that’s visible in my house.”
On the other hand, Khushboo, a 35-year-old design enthusiast and photographer from Nagpur, grew up with an engineer dad who had only one rule — everything in the house must have a purpose, solve an everyday problem, or should make your life easier. While as a teenager, she rebelled against it by “blinding worshipping aesthetics,” as an adult, she’s found a balance between style and functionality.
As the proud owner of a home that feels “warm, therapeutic, and relaxing,” Khushboo, who was brought up in Delhi, says that her present home has remnants of her past — mystery books from her travels, crime thrillers hoarded since her childhood, framed Mughal miniatures on stamp papers she collected in her formative years, and a dog-eared Van Gogh print purchased from Palika Bazaar from when she was twelve.
For Rishika, a 24-year-old Noida-based media professional, the feeling of a home that was “lived in” was missing in her childhood. With everything tucked behind a glass in a showcase, she never could access the decor, per se. So, for her, building a home that feels lived in takes precedence when she styles her space. A few years ago, she picked up an eagle feather from somewhere; it still sits on her desk. A magnetic chess board she liked at 20, finally found a place in her room recently. But it’s hers, it’s beautiful, and that’s all that matters to her.
Their homes, they all say, tell the story of their lives. Harshit Raisinghani, a 28-year-old entrepreneur and founder of Lucknow-based designing firm Beyond Interiors Exteriors, couldn’t agree more to this.
What your home says about you
Raisinghani says, “Several aspects of a person’s home can provide insights into their personality. Those who use minimalist design tend to be straightforward and practical, whereas those who use eclectic design are more adventurous and free spirited.”
Usually people’s hobbies are on display through their decor choices. Sometimes their mental health can be gauged too, especially if they’re struggling with a hoarding disorder.
But Raisinghani emphasises that upbringing is not the sole factor in one’s interior design choices — especially when the style trends are constantly changing.
However, he adds, “An individual who grew up in a cluttered or chaotic environment may gravitate towards minimalism as an adult in order to create a sense of order and calm that they did not experience during their childhood. On the other hand, someone raised in a minimalist home might find comfort in a more eclectic or maximalist style. Some people might replicate the decor style of their childhood home, either out of nostalgia or because it feels familiar and comforting.”
Interestingly, Dr Tilwe also believes that because our childhood plays a key role in our sense of style, there’s always a possibility that even if it’s not obvious, we might share our aesthetic sense with our siblings and cousins.
But cultural influences, current events, and personal experiences play a big part too in our “aesthetic sense”.
Incidentally, a 2023 study published in Springer Nature, titled Goodbye Materialism: Exploring Antecedents of Minimalism and Its Impact on Millennials Well-Being, said that after the Covid-19 pandemic, more and more people have started adopting minimalism and that it has had a positive impact on their lives.
Whether you’re a minimalist, maximalist, or are somewhere in between, Dr Tilwe does say that our home is your safe place, so instead of adhering to a rigid style of living, it should be personalised for your comfort. If that means wanting to have a coffee bar in your bedroom, so be it!