We all want to live a long and healthy life, but how exactly can we make that happen? Most of us know the basics, such as eating healthy, getting regular exercise, sleeping well, and avoiding smoking. But experts now say that’s just part of the picture. To truly live longer and, more importantly, to enjoy those extra years, we also need to focus on our mental, emotional, and social health. That means staying mentally sharp, building meaningful relationships, and finding a sense of purpose, especially as we grow older. But not everyone is living well during those years. Loneliness, boredom, and poor mental health are common problems among older adults. The real challenge, experts say, is not just adding years to life, but adding life to those years.
So, how to add life to those years? A 96-year-old woman is showing us how it’s done.
Meet Betty Parker, who lives in California. While many her age talk about health problems, Betty prefers to focus on joy. She still picks roses from her garden, reads, plays cards with her friends, and loves to entertain. Even though she now buys pies from the store instead of baking them herself. Her 90s, she says, have been full of meaning and connection.
Her daughter, Dr. Kerry Burnight, is a gerontologist who studies ageing and helps people age better. She believes that Betty’s lifestyle offers important lessons for all of us, no matter our age.
“It’s not just about living longer,” says Dr. Burnight. “It’s about living better.”
The four pillars of a happy long life
According to Dr. Burnight, four simple habits can help people enjoy their older years more fully: growing, connecting, adapting, and giving.
These don’t require special diets or expensive treatments. Just like physical exercise keeps the body strong, these habits build emotional and mental strength, which is just as important.
And the best part? You can start today, no matter your age.
“It’s not too late at all. In fact, it’s the perfect time to really lean in,” says Burnight, who also wrote the upcoming book Joyspan: The Art and Science of Thriving in Life’s Second Half.
Think about retirement early
If you’re still working, it’s a good idea to start planning how you’ll spend your days after retirement. Dr. John Batsis, a geriatrician and professor at the University of North Carolina, says the “retirement cliff” can be emotionally tough for people who’ve worked all their lives.
“You go from having a routine, co-workers, and purpose to suddenly having none of that,” Batsis says.
To avoid feeling lost, he suggests slowly building hobbies and social activities before you retire. This makes the shift smoother and helps you stay mentally and emotionally active.
And if you’re already retired? It’s never too late to start something new, whether it’s learning to paint, starting a book club, or writing that novel you’ve always dreamed about.
Look for ways to keep growing: Mentally and physically
While puzzles like Sudoku and crosswords are great for the brain, Burnight recommends trying something new. Learning a new skill, like painting, cooking a new cuisine, or even trying a musical instrument, helps your brain grow and stay sharp.
“New experiences activate neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to keep growing,” Burnight explains.
Physical activity is also key. The less you move, the weaker you get, which limits what you can do. So find an activity you enjoy like walking, dancing, gardening, swimming and make it part of your daily routine.
The important thing is to pick something you like. If you’ve never liked reading, don’t force yourself to become a bookworm now. Find what excites you, says Batsis.
The most important things in the 90s
Loneliness can be as harmful as smoking or obesity, according to health experts. That’s why staying connected with friends, family, or your community is important.
Find small ways like helping a neighbour, volunteering, or mentoring someone younger. These acts build self-worth and reduce feelings of isolation.
And if you’re a caregiver, Burnight advises: don’t do everything for your loved one. Encourage them to stay active and do things on their own when possible. It helps build confidence and keeps their mind engaged.
It’s never too late
Whether you’re in your 30s, 60s, or 90s, it’s always a good time to improve your life. Experts say that combining physical activity, social connection, mental growth, and a sense of purpose is the true secret to a long, happy life.
Just like Betty Parker, you too can thrive in your later years and fill your days not just with time, but with joy.
