I LIKE ceremony. It imparts a sense of occasion to even the banal. But I am not so amused when a ritual becomes more a practised chore rather than an exercise in commemoration. Who doesn’t want to be told that what they are drinking is something special? We all like to be made feel special, but the emotion needs to be conveyed in a genuine and sincere manner. Any lesser and it falls flat on its face. Beverage professionals—from mixologists to sommeliers—try a lot of tricks and tweaks all in an effort to awe us, win our admiration, patronage and even tips. While many antics remain successful even for the 100th time, here are a few that are now in the overkill zone. To F&B professionals, cease and desist.
As for consumers, read on and empathise:
Foam
It was lovely the first time I tried it back in 2005. It wasn’t too bad when I landed upon it again in 2008, but now in 2016, whether in food or in drink, foam is a no-no. It’s passé. Leave it in history where it now belongs.
Spherification
Again, from flavoured vodka caviar to whatever else comes in that spheroid gelatinous form, it’s painfully unappealing and sad. Do not spherify anything, not for another 50 years.
Flaming shots
I didn’t like a shot set on fire the first time I was offered one and I don’t think I have ever been drunk enough to attempt it. What masochist visits your bar? Stop serving him flaming shots and direct him to a doctor. He clearly needs help.
Cork sniffing
Yes, a sommelier must do that. But do most know what to look out for? Also, this is done for expensive wines, which have been ageing for a while. In our context, that’s barely 5% of the wines in our country. So wine geeks, drop the act and pour me my wine already.
Dry ice
So you don’t think those drinks that come to you bellowing white smoke everywhere are cool? Neither do I. It was an awesome trick for my local ice-cream-wallah who would push a cart around stuffed with carbon (dry) ice. Every now and then, he would take a piece out for us to watch it sublimate into white fumes. Sometimes, we poured water on it to accelerate the effect. Fast-forward three decades and I don’t get how this trick is worthy of high-end mixology.
I can think of many popular restaurants that indulge their guests with one or many of these above-mentioned (tawdry) gimmicks. Well, they are just that, gimmicks. Discount all this and see what lies beneath. A good reviewer would do exactly that. If, however, you choose to continue to be enthralled by such loud and useless tricks, then there are many websites which will laud you for your ‘descriptive reviews’. Of course, I am not going to name any here. Now, I’ll just go and lie in my easy-recliner and eat a tomato.
The writer is a sommelier