For many couples, getting married and buying a first home mark two of life’s biggest milestones — and two of its biggest expenses. The average wedding now costs around $36,000, while the typical down payment on a home is $55,500, according to data from wedding platform Zola and real estate analytics firm ATTOM. Facing record-high housing costs, rising interest rates, and a competitive market dominated by baby boomer sellers, younger couples are increasingly choosing to skip traditional registries filled with appliances and instead ask their wedding guests to help fund a home. A growing number are wondering, is it possible to have both the wedding and the white-picket-fence dream. According to Zola’s 2025 First Look Report, 87% of couples registering on the platform are asking for cash, and 41% are requesting it specifically for a home down payment.
Couples turn to cash gifts to fund their future
“Society has really moved in that direction, and people are generally very comfortable giving cash — especially when they know what it’s going toward,” said Emily Forrest, spokesperson for Zola. Rather than unwrapping toasters and towel sets, couples are using platforms like Zola to let guests contribute directly to their future home. But while gift funds can be a smart way to ease financial pressure, experts say there are a few important considerations to keep in mind. Janelle Sallenave, chief spending officer at Chime, a financial technology company, says couples should treat their financial future with the same attention they give their wedding plans. “If you’re engaged and planning a future together, getting on the same page financially is just as important as planning the wedding,” she said. “Financial honesty isn’t just helpful — it’s essential.”
That means having conversations about income, debt, spending habits, savings, and long-term goals. Couples should decide whether they are merging finances, how they will split expenses, and who is responsible for what bills. “Setting clear roles and regularly checking in with each other can help both partners be involved and avoid confusion down the line,” Sallenave said.
Can you afford the home long-term?
According to USA Today, Even if guests help with a down payment, experts caution couples to think carefully about whether they can sustain homeownership. According to a 2024 study by Bankrate, the average annual cost of owning a single-family home — excluding mortgage payments — is $18,118. That includes property taxes, insurance, maintenance, and utilities. Sallenave says couples should factor in these ongoing costs when deciding how much home they can realistically afford.
Gift funds can be used toward a down payment — but they come with strings attached, depending on the type of mortgage. Rulon Washington, executive director of mortgage sustainability at Wells Fargo, says conventional loans (not backed by the government) typically expect gift funds to come from relatives or spouses. Though money from friends is not explicitly prohibited, it may require more documentation during the underwriting process. Loans backed by the government, like FHA, VA, or USDA loans, tend to be more flexible — but lenders still need to verify the gift does not come from someone with a financial interest in the sale, like a realtor or seller.
One way to streamline the process is to provide a gift letter, a document signed by the donor stating the gift amount, date, and a declaration that the funds do not need to be repaid. Lenders often have templates available for these letters. Washington advises couples to open a dedicated account just for the down payment. This makes it easier to track gift deposits and avoid confusion during underwriting. Gifted funds that sit untouched for 60 to 90 days can become what’s known as seasoned funds, which may reduce the lender’s need for documentation. Still, Washington says it is best to be prepared to provide a paper trail if the funds were received recently. Perhaps the most important tip, Don’t wait to speak with your mortgage lender.“There’s a misconception that you shouldn’t talk to your bank until you’re ready,” Washington said. “That is not correct. Talk to them as early as possible — they can give you a roadmap to follow, even before you start shopping for a home.” From creating a savings strategy to understanding documentation requirements, early guidance from a lender can help couples avoid surprises and use their wedding cash more efficiently.