Imagine a luxury resort tucked away in the backwaters of Kerala, with tall palms swaying, poolside cocktails flowing, staff trying really hard to hold it together, and somewhere in the spa, someone is plotting something deeply questionable while getting an Ayurvedic massage. Welcome to The White Lotus: Bollywood edition — where the drama is dialed to eleven, the secrets are spicier than the hotel buffet, and the sunglasses are bigger than the emotional baggage.
Mike White’s HBO hit has given us three seasons of chaotic, rich people on vacation — a buffet of egos, lies, and existential dread with a sprig of satire on top. But what if that same chaos unfolded in our film industry back home – Bollywood? What if White Lotus wasn’t in Sicily or Hawaii, but somewhere a little closer to home?
We’ve gone full casting director and reimagined The White Lotus Season 3 with a Bollywood cast so perfect, it practically writes itself. Think couture kaftans, whispered accusations over thalis, passive-aggressive mothers with Birkin bags, and a climactic confrontation on a yacht somewhere off the Konkan coast. Here’s our ultimate dream cast for The White Lotus: Bollywood Edition.
Spoiler alert: someone’s definitely not making it to checkout.
What if The White Lotus had an Indian cast?
Timothy Ratliff – Kabir Bedi
Victoria Ratliff – Dimple Kapadia
Saxon Ratliff – Ranveer Singh
Lochlan Ratliff – Siddhant Chaturvedi
Piper Ratliff – Alia Bhatt
Jaclyn Lemon – Priyanka Chopra
Laurie Duffy – Tabu
Kate Bohr – Kareena Kapoor
Belinda – Vidya Balan
Chelsea – Ananya Panday
Rick – Arjun Rampal
Gary – Naseeruddin Shah
Gaitok – Vijay Varma
Mook – Mrunal Thakur
