4 well edu boy Mumbai based 20.03.81/5?8? (Chandravanshi Kahar) Bihari, US MBA wkng MNC seeks well edu girl?.
An oxymoron, that?s what most Indians who really believe in ?caste no bar? would think on reading the classified above. Why must a 28-something young man, educated in a multicultural society (in the US at that) still be caught up in the web of caste? There is no answer really. The profiles in matrimonial classifieds are replete with caste specifications? Rajput (gotra Vats), Gangwar (Kurmi), Basnaal (Bisht). Incidentally, most of them stem from ?urban? India, a section of society that loudly condemns the decrees of the khap panchayats and rampant honour killings in rural India, but subliminally treads the same line of discrimination! It is a paradox not easily resolved or reconciled.
?When it comes to arranged marriages, the head rules over the heart,? says Rohit Manghnani, business head, JeevanSathi.com, a marriage portal. Behavioural mapping of over 40 lakh people by the portal reveals that less than 1% of the people choose to not mention their caste. ?To claim to be ?modern urban Indians with no hang-ups about caste? is the done thing, but as fact indicates, a very heavy bias for same caste exists across India,? adds Manghnani. He shares that 85.3% of the Banias and 89.7% of the Nairs first prefer a match in their own caste. Same-caste bias was found to be strongly correlated with mother tongue. For instance, 90% of the Malayalees were found to prefer Malayalees.
A strong indicator of caste bias is also evident from the fact that Brahmins are the most preferred community outside ones own community. ?If a Kshatriya doesn?t find a match in its own community, it looks for a Brahmin option. Similarly, 25% of the Patels too prefer Brahmins.? The findings were the same for profiles posted by parents/ guardians and those posted by the girl or boy.
However, the rise in inter-caste marriages in metros cannot be ignored either. ?The number of inter-caste marriages involving Dalits increased from 4,205 in 2007-08 to 4,750 in 2008-09. It is expected to go up to around 6,000 marriages in 2010,? says Vivek Pahwa, CEO, secondshaadi.com. But he cautions against believing that the perceptions have changed completely. So, are people as rigid about caste even when it comes to marrying a second time? ?Not really. However, over 80% of the registered members on our portal mention caste in their profiles and around 20-25% individuals are still obstinate in choosing spouses of their same caste.?
Shades of Shaadi, a partner preference survey conducted recently by Shaadi.com, also found that 56.07% male respondents and 54.73% female respondents said caste does not matter to them as much as the person. ?India is opening up to the idea of mixed marriages, as people realise that compatibility does not come necessarily by virtue of being of the same caste,? says Gourav Rakshit, business head, Shaadi.com. In the survey of 12,000 respondents, interestingly, Kerala, India?s model state for literacy, came across as the most conservative state when it comes to caste, with over 57.29% respondents saying they?d prefer to marry someone within their own caste. Rajasthan follows Kerala?s lead with a little over 50% respondents sticking to their belief of intra-caste marriages.
?While I am not against any particular caste, I do feel that it practically makes more sense for me to marry in my own caste. It will help me integrate easily into the new family as culturally we?d be alike,? reasons Shreya Agarwal, who is ?trying to settle down in life?. Point taken.
Despite the constitutional call for equality and urban India?s apparent support to merit, clearly the average urban Indian is not still convinced that caste is an outdated concept. Ironically, birth still continues to determine destinies in 21st century India.
