For many NRIs, returning to India is not just a plan, it is a long-held dream. A dream of familiarity, family, purpose, and belonging. But as one NRI’s experience shared on the Desi Return podcast reveals, the emotional pull of home does not always translate into a smooth transition.
Deva’s journey, from Ireland to India and back again, offers a rare, honest look at why returning home can sometimes fail, regardless of good intentions, careful planning, and even emotional motivation.
From opportunity to achievement abroad
Deva moved to Ireland in 2006, at a time when migration was far from simple. “You couldn’t just apply for visas online or Google everything,” he recalls. Like many middle-class Indians, he had completed a nursing degree and was looking for opportunities abroad. Australia was his first choice, but when that plan stalled, Ireland emerged as an alternative.
“I thought I’d give it a try—stay for a couple of years and see how it goes. When you’re single, you have that flexibility.”. Deva worked in reputed hospitals, rose to managerial roles, and built financial stability. But professional success came at a cost. As his family grew, so did the strain.
“Work started to feel like a burden—something I once enjoyed deeply,” he says. The balance between professional ambition and personal life slowly collapsed. Burnout crept in, unnoticed and unaddressed.
The return plan
By 2018, Deva began planning a return to India. He owned a home in Ireland with a manageable mortgage and calculated that rental income could support a comfortable life back home. The idea was not just to return, it was to build something meaningful. He set up a diabetic clinic in his hometown, hoping to bring Western standards of preventive care, education, and patient-centric practice to India. On paper, the plan worked. The clinic ran, expenses were covered, and services were delivered.
But the cracks soon appeared.
“People saw me as someone who had come from abroad and tried to take advantage,” Deva admits. Staff culture, business ethics, and local realities didn’t align with his expectations. More importantly, the business was not profitable enough to justify a full exit from Ireland.
So he chose a middle path, testing the waters. His family moved to India as he continued travelling between both countries. It was a decision that would prove costly.
Family, children, and cultural shock
The move ultimately failed not because of finances or career but because of family readiness. “It was my vision to return to India,” Deva explains. “I didn’t properly involve my spouse or children. I assumed the kids were young and would adjust.” They didn’t.
His children, born and raised in Ireland, experienced intense cultural shock, especially in schools. A reputed school with excellent academic results turned out to be emotionally harsh. On her very first day, his daughter witnessed corporal punishment.
“She was shocked. For us, it was familiar. For her, it was traumatic.”
Homework pressure, discipline, competition, and fear replaced curiosity and joy. Even after switching to a more progressive school, punishment and intimidation persisted. Small but powerful issues piled up, missing belongings, discomfort using school toilets, language barriers, emotional withdrawal.
One moment stayed with him. After returning from Ireland with gifts, his youngest son refused to touch his favourite toy. “That broke my heart,” Deva says. “That’s when it hit me—this was my desire. My family was not ready.”
Then came COVID. Deva returned to Ireland in December 2019, planning to wrap things up in India within a month. Lockdowns shut borders, rent piled up, and landlords showed no flexibility. The clinic was shut down, deposits lost, and the chapter ended abruptly.
Today, Deva and his family are back in Ireland. His children are settled and happy. Interestingly, recent visits to India have helped them rediscover its value, family, culture, and connection, on their own terms.
His dream of returning to India isn’t abandoned. “It’s not buried—it’s parked,” he says. When his youngest child goes to college, he hopes to return again, this time wiser, better prepared, and with everyone on board. “There is no right or wrong decision,” Deva concludes. “Only experience. Until you try, you won’t know.”