Moving back home after living abroad is often imagined as a happy return, familiar food, loved ones, and a sense of belonging. For many Non-Resident Indians (NRIs), the idea of returning to India brings comfort and nostalgia. But what happens when that return is not welcomed by the very people you are coming back for? That is the emotional conflict one young woman recently shared on Reddit.
Five years in Canada, one tough decision
The woman, a 27-year-old Indian living in Canada, has spent almost five years building her life there. Like many others, she moved abroad with dreams of growth, stability, and independence. Now, she has decided that she wants to return to India.
For her, the decision does not come from defeat or regret. She sees it as a choice, not the end of the world. “If not Canada, then something else,” she believes. She feels mentally prepared to face whatever lies ahead.But her parents see the decision very differently.
‘What will people say?’
When she told her parents about her plan, the response was far from supportive. They were unhappy and disappointed. To them, moving back felt like a failure, a waste of the money and time spent on her life abroad. More than that, they were worried about society. What would relatives say if she returned after years in Canada? Would people judge the family? Would it look like she could not “make it” there? These questions, driven by social pressure and expectations, weighed heavily on the conversation.
The woman says she does not feel angry or afraid. She feels calm about her future and is ready to accept whatever comes next. Yet, her parents’ mindset hurts her. Knowing that her return home is seen as a disappointment rather than a personal choice leaves her feeling sad and unsettled. The place she wants to come back to no longer feels fully safe or welcoming.
‘This is disheartening’
Netizens also weighed in on her situation. A user noted, “Many Indian parents miss their children living abroad but also take pride in boasting that their children live abroad. They find validation in this and hence the idea of not having this bragging right is uncomfortable for them. If you have paid them back what they spent for your education, respectfully ignore whatever their opinion is. It is your life, and you decide whatever is best for you.”
Another added, “It is in fact a challenging situation to be in. There are a lot of questions though. Did your parent spend $$ for education? Did you pay it back? Are they looking for you to settle down in canada for good. They know life in India is challenging so probably want you to settle there. About relatives – yeah that’s the Indian society for you”
“In the end it’s your decision.Remember its your life, parents will come around,” explained a netizen.
Another noted, ” I moved to India for the first time (as a lifelong NRI) at your age. It was a trial for me to see if I could live there. If the trial was unsuccessful, I would plan to emigrate. I managed about 3.5 years before deciding that I could not deal with being a second class citizen due to my gender. Six months later, I made it out. I suggest when you relocate, don’t shut the door on Canada. Find a way to keep your options open to return. Five years abroad is more than adequate time for you to be out of step with changes back home, as well as for you to have undergone significant changes yourself — many adjustments will have been subconscious and you may not be aware of them until you hit the ground in India. If you love it and want to stay, fantastic! If you don’t, you’ll have options and you won’t be trapped.”
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