For many Indians who move abroad, the dream is simple: build a life of stability, security, and opportunity. However, in chasing that dream, they leave behind family, familiarity, and the comfort of home. For some, the cost of that distance becomes painfully real at the worst possible moment.
“I am writing this as a son”
Gautam Dey, an Indian-origin tech professional in the United States, shared his personal account on LinkedIn after losing his mother to stage 4 lung cancer. Stripping away his professional identity, he wrote, “Today I am writing this not as an engineer, not as an H-1B worker… I am writing this as a son.”
His mother was hospitalised for over two weeks. During that time, Dey tried desperately to secure a visa stamping appointment to travel back to India and be by her side. But the process had a lot of delays and uncertainty and that left him stuck.
Dey’s experience
Dey moved to the US in 2007, invited for specialised software work. Over nearly two decades, he built a life including working, paying taxes, raising a family, and contributing to businesses. Yet, when it mattered most, none of that could help him reach home.
Like many on H-1B visas, he remains tied to a system where travel risks everything. Leaving the country without proper documentation could mean being stranded abroad, losing employment, and jeopardising his family’s future in the US
An impossible choice
As his mother’s condition worsened, Dey was trapped in a choice no one should have to make. “Be with my dying mother. Or protect the future of my children.” He tried everything by submitting hospital documents, requesting urgent appointments, waiting endlessly for a slot. “I refreshed, waited, prayed, and hoped,” he wrote. But time ran out.
“I could only see her through a phone screen’
His mother passed away before he could reach her. The goodbye he had imagined never came. Instead, he was left with memories mediated by distance. “I could only see her through a phone screen… That will remain the biggest regret of my life.”
Dey insists his story is not political, but human. It shows a side of migration rarely spoken about that is the emotional cost of being far away when family needs you most. He notes that India is evolving with strong opportunities in technology and innovation. Leaving home, he suggests, should not be the only measure of achievement. Because, as his experience shows, some choices once lost can never be reclaimed.
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