For many NRIs, returning home after years abroad is a dream, reconnecting with family, cultural belonging, and the idea of contributing to one’s roots. But for one software engineer who moved back from the US after a decade, the reality has been far more difficult than he ever imagined.
The 40-year-old, who shared his story on Reddit, writes that he now regrets returning to India and is preparing to move his family to Germany.
His life in US
He spent 10 years working in the US, in the Bay Area and Seattle after completing his master’s degree. He built a comfortable life, embraced outdoor hobbies, and invested well enough to save $2 million in wealth. With a fully paid home waiting in Bengaluru, he and his wife decided to return with the goal of slowing down, raising their two children close to family, and starting a peaceful life.
“We thought we could shield ourselves from the hassles,” he wrote on Reddit. “But I didn’t realize Indian metros had become so difficult to live in.”
‘Daily struggles nobody warned me about’
Bengaluru, once a familiar comfort, quickly felt overwhelming to him. Pollution, long commutes, crumbling roads, crowded streets, and limited public infrastructure became everyday frustrations. He says the urban chaos affected every part of life from school admissions to simply stepping outdoors.
The noise, traffic, and lack of usable public spaces left him feeling trapped. “I’ve endured this dysfunctional country for four years now,” he wrote, describing how exhausting the experience has been for his family.
He admits he returned with a sense of pride wanting to contribute to India’s growth. But the challenges he faces make him question how realistic that expectation is for working parents.
“What exactly can any of us change while balancing a job, kids, and life?” he wrote, adding that genuine reform requires time and political commitment, not weekend volunteering.
Why Germany?
With years of financial planning behind him, he believes he does not need the high salaries of Silicon Valley anymore. He says he wants clean air, better urban living, walkable roads, safety, and dignity in everyday life. Germany, he feels, offers those basics. He has accepted a job with a Munich-based startup and will be working remotely until his child finishes the current school year. “With a $2M net worth, I’ve reached the coast-FIRE stage. I’m not chasing money. I just want a healthier life for my family,” he explained.
‘You got to have a reality check’
Netizens posted their opinion on the post. A user noted, “You got a reality check. You also have courage to call it out and take a harder decision. Your family deserves credit as well. I too made a move at a similar stage of my life though I wish I was at your level financially 🙂 May I ask what made you exclude Canada? Is it the weather or the recent negative media image of Indians in Canada? It’s much closer to the US in many ways and though the public/socialist system mirrors EU. Some of the suburbs of the bigger cities have more exposure to local culture and Canada has probably the most outdoorsy people in the Anglophone world.”
Another added, “I worked in India for 12 years. Never planned to settle abroad coz life was good in terms of salary and lifestyle.
After my daughter was born – I realised that India is not a place to raise a child especially the metro cities which are downright shit.
I have spent 30 minutes to travel 500 meters. I have seen men in a mall staring at my innocent child. I have cancelled lot of plans because there are just too many people. I have seen creepy uncles just trying to randomly touch your kid for no reason.
I have a long list but for me biggest reason was safety of my daughter. It doesn’t matter if you are hiding in gated societies – I am not saying that there are no creeps outside India but the sheer volume of number of people in India makes countries abroad look safer.
We chose Spain and have been here for a year now and love it. We can walk and breathe. My daughter goes around playing in parks and I am not worried. I and my wife both are at mental peace. We all are learnjng Spanish and trying to integrate with locals (not easy due to language barrier – will overcome it soon).
Tax, income and all the arguments thrown around seem trivial when you really value quality of your life. Happy for you OP for making the choice.”
“I just read first and last para of your post. That’s bitter truth and we should accept it. And living with racism is acceptable rather than dealing with corrupt and broken system, no social security, bad environment, low civic sense and broken education system. I’m from Delhi, have done my bachelors there. I regret it doing bachelors in India. All the time our exam paper were already leaked. I feels like i would have got more scope and exposure if i were enrolled in abroad studies,” wrote another.
“Our once-every-two-years visit to India for 3-4 weeks is enough to give us a dose of reality. There is no way we are ever moving back to India,” wrote a netizen.
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