The feeling of being with someone can make you happy but with a modern outlook, situationship comes into the picture. If you are wondering what this is; let us tell you that it’s more than a casual relationship but is something where there is no tag, label, or a lifetime commitment. Situationship is the latest dating term that seemingly applies to the grey areas at the start of a relationship, however, there’s no intention of going further than that.
As per a latest survey, more people, especially in the younger generation, are seeking situationship. The data also suggested that couples who prefer situationships over traditional relationships are seeing it as a way to develop a relationship with less pressure.
Don’t confuse it with the initial days of a relationship where you are trying to know the other person. The main difference between a situationship and the early stages of a relationship is that there’s a goal to start or end a relationship after getting to know each other, while there’s no such goal in a situationship. While a situationship doesn’t have to be a sexual relationship, it is often synonymous with hookup culture and casual sex.
Long gone are the days when watching a film or sharing a cup of coffee was all it took to solidify a relationship. Instead, modern dating has evolved into a delicate – at times complicated – series of ‘baby steps’ that couples want to take.
Research suggests that millennials and Gen Z’s outlooks towards dating and sex has evolved from the generations before them. They prefer taking a pragmatic approach to love and sex, and subsequently aren’t focusing on establishing committed romantic relationships the same way their older peers once did.
A situationship makes things easier for couples. It gives name to a hard-to-define stage of dating.
When 27-year-old Anisha Banerjee, an engineer based out of Hyderabad, was exploring the dating options available to her, neither casual dating nor long-term relationships seemed like her cup of tea. “I felt emptier after casual sex than what I felt before. It takes time to get into a relationship, it doesn’t happen overnight. It requires a lot of patience and willingness to trust someone, which for me, has been difficult. Calling it difficult, honestly, is an understatement.”
Kanishka Sen, 30, situationship allows her to explore and evolve as a human being. “More than a romantic relationship, I was seeking companionship—physical, emotional, and sexual. I want to feel safe and comfortable with someone and create a similar space for the other person,” she says.
For Aniruddha Thakur, who is working as an architect with one of the leading companies, a relationship involves a lot of hard work and mutual understanding and with hectic working hours, it’s impossible. “I am not prepared for a committed relationship as I know I won’t be able to handle one. It comes with many rules and instructions. Having said that, I am not even looking for casual dating, hookups, or FWB (Friends with Benefits) – these are devoid of romance and substance. With situationship as a dating option, I am able to go back to someone without the fear of commitment.”
Ankur Madaan, a student from Amity University, Noida, says that situationship was his go-to option when he wanted to be friends with his partner, but was not quite ready to get into an official relationship. “I met my girlfriend six months ago. We started as friends, and then we realised we have feelings for each other but were not ready for a relationship just yet. We decided to be in a situationship for another eight months before we got into a relationship. We took that time to understand if we were compatible and if we were looking for something similar,” he explains.
The charms of the hard-to-define dating option come with a lack of rules. The dos and don’ts depend on the partners. For instance, if a couple does not want to feel obligated to call or text one another, or if they do not want their partner(s) into their personal space, their situationship would be built on the foundation of the said ground rules.
Situationships certainly give couples the space and time to understand their needs and introspect on what is expected of their partners. Having said that, the lack of rules often makes it a slippery slope, forcing people to walk on eggshells.
“It becomes a little depressing and complex when both of the sides know they are talking to other people on various dating apps, but do not know where to draw the line for it to become exclusive,” says Shalini. Speaking about her experience with situationships, she adds, “It’s all cool and happy initially but beyond that one gets really tired of not having anything meaningful.”
The most toxic part of situationships is how it romanticizes casual sex. While it seems okay in the beginning, research shows that it’s horrible for women. Another major issue is that casual sex will inevitably lead to developing an emotional bond with the other person.
While situationships may seem exciting and trendy on the surface, they are not only confusing, but the confusion can lead to totally preventable stress and heartache.