New Year’s rang in on a depressing note for Bengaluru after the mass molestation incident on MG Road and Samajwadi Party’s Abu Azmi pelted out another gem to be recorded in the book of misogyny, saying, “The more women are naked, the more fashionable they are considered.” So based on our dear politician’s words of wisdom, let’s rethink our lives:
Azmi’s guide to a woman’s wardrobe
Mini-skirt: Please rape me. Would you like me to lie down?
Knee-length skirt: I might consider being raped. It’s a 50-50 chance today.
Salwar kameez: No thank you. I am not in the mood for rape today. Maybe some other time?
Azmi’s guide to women’s outings
Alone at night: I came out especially for you to sexually assault me.
With male friends at night: I’m already giving my male friends a chance to rape me, so that tomorrow people can tell me I shouldn’t have male friends. Please rape someone else today.
At home at night: I don’t want to be raped. (Of course, since a large percentage of rapes happen by someone the victim knows, let me clarify: I will only allow people I know to rape me.)
Azmi’s guide to gender
Women: Women, like sugar and petrol, are to be consumed. They are sexual objects, which, even if they scream out a ‘no’, really don’t have a voice or brain of their own.
Men: Men, like ants or fire, are ravenous, crazed beings with no self-control. Any man will become a rapist if he sees a woman in short clothes because they too don’t have brains of their own.
Azmi’s guide to his daughter
Er… Rushda Azmi, if for whatever reason you step out of your house without a male relative at night (maybe you need to go to the hospital or pick up some last minute groceries), your dad has given his consent to any man to pounce on you. Father of the year, right there.
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So there you have it. Ladies, you have been warned!