Unscrambled frog legs

Written by The Financial Express | Updated: Oct 30 2007, 04:56am hrs
THERE are a few very irate cabin crew from a British airline out there, demanding chicken tikka and scrambled eggs with their dosa, and they are not willing to listen when I tell them that this is a vegetarian restaurant, said I to boss, as he ran around desperately trying to figure out how to claim credit from the banker clients who insisted on payment by some new method for the South Indian non-veg party catered to last night. Instead of paying by cash or cheque or card, they sentan A-4 sheetacross through their driver, a copy of an email, and claimed that this was the new way of paying for fine food, raiment, and entertainment. By participatory notes.

I dont have time for all this, you need to improve your timing for such complaints, exclaimed boss. As it is, this Headless Chicken stuff is getting the Indian Ambassador to the US into trouble. Look at poor Ronen Sen. Though I must say,his timing is perfect. Right in between Bijoya and Diwali.

Meanwhile, the cabin crew were behaving like virgins left loose in a strip-club, demanding propah vegetarian food. Going ballistic, like their grandfathers would have done in the days of the Raj when first served with mince pies rolled up and thenre-fried in bread. One of them even held up a copy of their airlines definition of a vegetarian meal, which read: Does not contain meat, fish or seafood but may contain eggs or dairy products.

So I told them, our food is best described as Hindu vegetarian, if you want eggs or chicken in your dosa, please ask for cuisine from Yunan or Bangladesh. At which they showed me what Hindu food is as per their airline: Does not contain beef, meat derivatives, veal or pork but this is not a Vegetarian meal, may contain poultry and eggs. If you are Hindu and request a Vegetarian meal, the best suggestion for you would be an Asian Vegetarian meal.

And so, what is an Asian vegetarian meal I asked politely. Almost foaming at the mouth, they showed me: Does not contain fish, shellfish, meat, poultry nor eggs. Its is a meatless meal cooked and seasoned Indian style.

Thats it, then. After years of training the British in the vast variety of Indian cuisine available, theyve gone and lumped everything together as Asian food. Serves them right. They deserve a geriatricPrince with flappy ears. Meanwhile, I wonder what the cabin crew from France will do when I tell them that wewill not put frogs legs in the rasam