Udipi conversion rate

Written by The Financial Express | Updated: Jan 29 2008, 04:42am hrs
I think we should open a big hotel in Delhi, exclaimed Boss, as he took a closer look at a quotation from the friendly neighbourhood five-star, whose directors, senior management and chefs all come to eat at our little South Indian all-veg hotel. Just get a gander on this$800 a night for a room smaller than our cash counter. I did not have the heart to tell Boss to be grateful that they are stillaccepting dollars from visiting NRIs. If tariffs are quoted in rupees, they would come and stay at his house and keep eating here for free.I mean, nobody even blinks anymore when we tell them that we buy dollars. At Rs 35. On days that we feel like it.

Its generous. For three dollars, we give you stuff worth Rs 100. If you have too many dollars in your wallet is it our fault Visitors say that this is rude to foreign guests. But look at what the Canadians have done to the American dollar. Now that is rude. We are just being polite. And we give extra chutney as well as sugar and saunf free.

The cost of living and eating at expensive hotels has reached sublime heights, and things have come to a point where much home delivery parcel food seems to be headed for people staying at costly hotels. We have even designed a laptop case delivery model, at extra charge of course, with which you can walk without being harassed or embarrassed into a five-star hotel or coffee shop, and then simply eat what is inside while pretending to peck at the keyboard. Finger food takes on a new meaning. Now you know what all those people swinging laptop cases are really doing. Remember, you read it here first.

And. Coming soon: energy bars made to look like iPods. Very soon, you too can go to an expensive restaurant, pretend to look at their menu, finish dinner without ordering, burp, ask for a glass of water, and leave.

And then there are the four-occupancy rooms. Two on the bed, one on the settee and the fourth anywhere. Floor, bathroom orthe imagination boggles. This was till we overheard HR executives planning to hire only short people, so that the management can fit eight to a room. Like at Wal-Mart.

My suggestion Convert all our tables into beds for the night, and offer a single dinner+sleep+breakfast rate. If you want to have dinner after 10 pm, you have to sleep as well as have breakfast with us too.

This is called the Udipi Plan. For a bath and lunch,you can always go to the five-star nearby. It wont cost anything there.