1. No humour lost: Here is why India can never ‘defeat’ Pakistan in any war

No humour lost: Here is why India can never ‘defeat’ Pakistan in any war

Pakistani comedian Shehzad Ghias Shaikh' hilarious take on India-Pakistan tensions exposes ironies of our times

By: | New Delhi | Updated: October 4, 2016 4:01 PM
nana patekar, anna hazare, om puri, anna hazare movie, mahesh bhatt, narendra modi, kejriwal, India, pakistan, india pakistan terrorism, Uri attack, surgical strikes, Baramulla attack, Kashmir, Pakistan terrorism, Pakistani comedian Shehzad Ghias Shaikh has tried to infuse some dose of humour with his satirical take on the brewing war between India and Pakistan (Reuters)

Tension between India and Pakistan refuses to die as the latter country continues not to act against terrorists operating from its territory against India. In the last few months, several terrorists from across the border have attacked Indian soldiers in Jammu and Kashmir.

The biggest such attack was at Uri in Kashmir on September 18 when 19 Indian soldiers were killed by four Jaish-e-Mohammad terrorists. Even yesterday, terrorists attacked BSF jawans at Baramulla and one soldier was martyred.

To avenge the Uri attacks, India conducted surgical strikes on terror launch pads in Pakistan-occupied Kashmir and killed several terrorists  in the wee hours on September 29. However, Pakistan spread a propaganda that there were no surgical strikes as it doesn’t want to acknowledge the presence of terrorists on its territory.

The rising tension between the two countries is seeping into people across the borders as many of them can be seen trolling each other on social media platforms.

Amid such growing madness, Pakistani comedian Shehzad Ghias Shaikh has tried to infuse some dose of humour with his satirical take on the brewing war between both countries. Ghias wrote an article titled ‘Pakistan will win any war against India’ in The Tribune.

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Sharing the article on Facebook, the Pakistani comedian wrote: “It is hard being a satirist in Pakistan. People who don’t understand satire hate you. People who disagree with you hate you. People who don’t understand satire and agree with you, also hate you.”

The satirical piece points out several things in which Pakistani citizens are superior to Indians, and that is why they will always “win” against India. Sample these gems:

  • “No Pakistani is afraid of war: Everyone is brave enough to put up a status online asking for war. As long as I do not have to fight in it, I support every war.”
  • “Pakistan will win any war against India. World War I, World II, The American Civil War; we have never lost any war against India. In fact, the worst Pakistani performance in a war was by the actors in Bilal Lashari’s Waar.”
  • “There is a reason why we have the best spy agency in the world. Every single boy in Pakistan is trained in spy missions.”
  • “Every Pakistani is equal to 60 Indians and 2+2 = 22. We will beat India on the cricket ground. We will beat India at the border. We will go to Mars and beat their satellite there. So what if we do not even get water in the most posh area of Karachi? Beliefs are stronger than science and I believe we will win.”

One hopes some sense prevails in Pakistani leadership and it directs its energy towards the welfare of people. Indian Prime Narendra Modi had also invited Pakistan recently to wage a war together against poverty, illiteracy, and underdevelopment.

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