Indians are more Ignoble than Nobel

If you want to know what rhinotillexomania means, read on

Bibek Debroy

In the recent obsession with Nobel prizes, the media has not devoted enough attention to the Ignoble prizes, annual awards since 1991 for achievements that “cannot or should not be reproduced.” You can track down these prizes at the Ignoble website or through the Annals of Improbable Research. The prizes are awarded in Harvard, and Indian representation at the Ignoble prizes is far higher than at the regular ones.

2001 is an example. In the public health area, Chittaranjan Andrade and B S Srihari from the National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore, have been awarded the prize for “A Preliminary Survey of Rhinotillexomania in an Adolescent Sample”, published in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry. In case you didn’t know, Rhinotillexomania means compulsive nose-picking and the researchers report that “there is little world literature on nose-picking behaviour in the general population.”

So they studied nose-picking behaviour in a sample of 200 adolescents from four urban schools. The findings? “Almost the entire sample admitted to nose-picking, with a median frequency of four times per day; the frequency was more than 20 times per day in 7.6 per cent of the sample. Nearly 17 per cent of subjects considered that they had a serious nose-picking problem.

Other somatic habits such as nail-biting, scratching in a specific spot, or pulling out of hair were also common; three or more such behaviours were simultaneously present in 14.2 per cent of the sample, only in males. Occasional nose-bleeds complicating nose-picking occurred in 25 per cent of the subjects. Several interesting findings in specific categories of nose-pickers were identified.”
Conclusion? Nose-picking is common in adolescents and is associated with other habitual behaviours. “Nose picking may merit closer epidemiologic and nosologic scrutiny.”

However, this is not the only time Indians or NRIs were thus honoured. In 1998, Atal Bihari Vajpayee and Nawaz Sharif jointly received the peace prize for “their aggressively peaceful explosions of atomic bombs.” In the same year, Deepak Chopra received the physics prize “for his unique interpretation of quantum physics as it applies to life liberty, and the pursuit of economic happiness.” In 1993, Ravi Batra received the economics prize for selling enough copies of his books The Great Depression of 1990 at $17.95 and Surviving the Great Depression of 1990 at $18.95 “to single-handedly prevent worldwide economic collapse.”

The most interesting prizes are for medicine, physics and inventions. In medicine, Peter Barss from McGill University studied injuries due to falling coconuts (2001). Richard Wassesug from Dalhousie University studied the comparative palatability of dry-season tadpoles from Costa Rica (2000). Norway’s Arvid Vatle studied containers patients choose when submitting urine samples (1999). Peter Fong from Gettysburg College discovered that fingernail clams feel happier if given Prozac (1998).

Harold Hillman from the University of Surrey studied the possible pain experienced during execution by different methods (1997). Several scientists from the University Hospital, Zurich, studied peoples’ brainwave patterns when they chewed different flavours of gum (1997). Andres Barheim and Hogne Sandvik from the University of Bergen determined the effect of ale, garlic and soured cream on the appetite of leeches (1996). Shigeru Watanabe, Junko Sakamoto and Masumi Wakita from Keio University successfully trained pigeons to discriminate between the paintings of Picasso and those of Monet (1995).

In physics, David Schmidt from the University of Massachusetts obtained a partial answer as to why shower curtains billow inwards (2001). Jack and Rexella Van Impe proved that black holes fulfill the technical requirements to be the location of hell (2001). Andre Geim from the University of Nijmegen and Sir Michael Berry from Bristol University used magnets to levitate a frog and a sumo wrestler (2000). Jacques Benveniste from France proved that water has memory and this information can be transmitted over the telephone and through the inter net (1998). Robert Matthews from Aston University tested Murphy’s Law and proved that toast often falls on the buttered side (1996). The Japanese Meteorological Agency took seven years to study whether earthquakes are caused by catfish wiggling their tails (1994). Robert Faid from South Carolina calculated the exact odds (8,606,091,751,882 to 1) that M Gorbachev was the Anti-Christ (1993). Louis Kervarn from France proved that calcium in chicken eggshells is created by a process of cold fusion (1993).

In the area of inventions, Buck Weimer from Colorado invented Under-Ease, airtight underwear with a replaceable charcoal filter that removes bad smelling gases before they escape (2001). John Keogh from Australia and the Australian Patent Office received a joint award for respectively patenting the wheel and for granting the patent (2001). Chris Niswander from Arizona invented PawSense, a software that detects when a cat is walking across a computer keyboard (2000). Takeshi Makino from Osaka invented S-Check, an infidelity detection spray that wives can apply to their husbands’ underwear (1999). Hyuk-ho Kwon from Seoul invented a self-perfuming business suit (1999).

George and Charlotte Blonsky from New York and San Jose invented a device that helps women give birth (1998). She’s strapped onto a circular table which is then rotated at high speed. Troy Hurubise from Ontario invented a suit of armour against grizzly bears (1998). John Martinez from Atlanta invented Luak Coffee, the world’s most expensive coffee (1995). This is made from coffee beans ingested and excreted by the luak , a bob-cat like animal that lives in Indonesia. Jay Schiffman from Michigan invented AutoVision, an image projection device that allows the driver of a car to watch television at the same time (1993). James Campbell from Tennessee invented scent strips, to apply perfume to magazine pages (1993).

Why ignore economics? Joel Slemrod from Michigan Business School and Wojciech Kopczuk from the University of British Columbia jointly proved that people would find ways to postpone their deaths if this qualified them for lower inheritance tax rates (2001). The title of the National Bureau of Economic Research’s Working Paper is Dying to Save Taxes: Evidence from Estate Tax Returns on the Death Elasticity. Robert Genco from the University of Buffalo discovered that financial strain is a risk indicator for destructive periodontal disease (1996).