Says Vern, "Yeah... It is a hereditary thing. My Pa, and his Pa had it, andGreat Grandpa's Pa did too. I was given the test, and the Doc said theresults were no good. You know, it was a standard test. Any fool could passit. They had me hook up the VCR to the TV, and then had me programme it torecord an episode of Friends. It took me forever to get past the first part,and when I did, I thought I recorded the right show. Turns out it was theSpice Channel. Anyways, I failed and was diagnosed with MIS (MechanicalInability Syndrome)."

Millions of Americans each year suffer from this horrendous disease.Families are torn and ripped apart as wives discover that their husbandscan't read directions properly. This has resulted in unsafe and unstablebarbecue grills, light bulbs flickering, alarm clocks blinking, and toiletsnot flushing.

The Surgeon General has warned males across the nation of possible signs ofMIS. If recognised early, treatment can be sought, and the problemeliminated. For example, a girlfriend or wife may hear the phrase,"Goddammit, the fucking washer is off balance again. Or, Jesus Christ, howdo I turn off the stereo?"Usually, there is a corelation between swearingprofusely, reading instructions, and attempting to put the item together.Signs of possible deficiency in mechanical ability may include a fixation,or staring blankly at the object, a flush red face, several beer cans lyingnext to the object, a hammer lodged into the wall, or duct tape used insteadof screws.