The Left Front government has for long been chafing at the ignominy of having for its capital a place named by imperialists. They felt as bitter as the Americans living at the Calcutta consulate, forced to have Ho Chi Minh Street as their address. All the more so, because while the Americans were powerless to change the name of the street, the government could easily alter the name of the capital. That is what they have now done, by changing Calcutta to Kolkata.

The origins of Kolkata are buried in the salt marshes that ringed the city. Some say that the place was known as Khal Kata in the 15th Century, which translates roughly into "the place where a ditch was dug". That's more or less what thecity has now been transformed into, thanks to the untiring efforts of the Left Front government. In the two decades they have been in power, they have succeeded in removing that imperialist language, English, from school books. They have worked long and hard to abolish capital, that neo-colonial thing, and have managed to drive most of it away from the state. The middle classes, hangers-on to the coat tails of imperialists, have largely been forced to leave the city, since the government has ensured that there are no jobs available, other than the public sector sinecures it doles out to its own cadres. And the resemblance to a ditch is driven home most clearly by the state of the city's pot-holed roads.

It has been an arduous and painstaking task, but the effort has finally paid off, and the last vestige of colonialism has now been removed by changing the name of the city.

In a sense, the renaming is a going back in time, back to the pure days before the fair land of Bangla was sullied by the advent ofthe colonials. While the government has been unable to actually take the city back in time, it has at least ensured that it remains stuck in a time warp. Other cities in India may change at a dizzying pace--new roads, new flyovers, new buildings--not Kolkata. Other cities and regions may adopt new ideas, to suit the trend of the times. Not Kolkata, nor Bangla, which remain mired in an ideology discarded by the rest of the world. The hope is that, with the name now changed, time will not just stand still, but actually move backwards.

This movement back in time has been accompanied by a reduction in importance. Obviously Kolkata, the post-colonial ditch, can hardly hope to compete with Calcutta, the second city of the British Empire. It will also be unequal to the task of being the capital of Bengal, that rich province of the Empire. The solution, of course, is to give the state an entirely new name. So the state will be called Bangla, which, apart from being what Bengalis call their language, is also thename of the local hooch. Calcutta, once the sparkle in the jewel of the British crown, has now become the ditch near the local bootlegger.

Perhaps Bongo, an alternative Bengali name for the province, would have been more appropriate. It would at least have rhymed with Congo. The suggestion of deepest and darkest Africa suggested by the Congo would be appropriate, although Bongo's attempt to evoke deepest and darkest India would have strong competition from Bihar.

For the Bengal Club, that elitest of elite clubs in Calcutta, the transformation to Bangla Club would be tragic. Bangla club suggests a dingy little backstreet pub in which local hooch is sold out of tin drums. Bongo club would have been a comedown, but it would at least have suggested a disco. How the Royal Kolkata Turf Club manages the psychological trauma associated with its mongrel name will be watched with considerable interest.

Bengalis have been incredibly blase about changing Calcutta's name--no mass demonstrations, no street battles,no trams being burnt. That seems puzzling at first. But as a Bengali friend put it--When Mao tse Tung can become Mao ze Dong/Other name changes don't bother the Bong.