Where’s the love gone?

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News reports of increasing number of elderly living alone or checking into old age homes. Reports of marriages breaking down, frequently and faster. Reports of high rudeness in urban life. More intolerance in relationships. Reports of children committing suicide in reaction to parental pressure. While everyone is saying “I want to be accepted as I am, for what I am” there is increasing unwillingness to accept others as they are. There is not enough space for compassion in the workplace, where competence and competition is being celebrated.

With selfishness, restlessness and aggression as the new virtues, nobody really believes that the meek will inherit the world any more…not even in India. And certainly not on the cricket field. To turn the other Gandhian cheek is now considered foolish. Except in an occasional Munnabhai. India’s Heart Chakra is definitely weakening.

Heart Chakra or Anahata people, have by nature, a selfless state of mind. More open to sharing and caring, given to empathy and sympathy, careful not to hurt, generous and kind, they bring peace and calm to those around them.

Harmonious relationships are very important to Heart Chakra people. To them, life is not a competition, certainly not at the cost of relationships. They are able to give and are more gracious and forgiving than average. Look around and spot the person in your office who people tend to go to, to share their problems with and ask for a shoulder to cry on; the person who goes out of his or her way to take up cuddles on other’s behalf. Spot the person who has more patience with their weaknesses, is the best team player, stays back to help others, and generally seems to have a lot of faith in mankind.

Spot the person who is best at understanding other people’s problems, and the best at being genuinely happy at other people’s successes, and you’ll spot a strong Heart Chakra person.

If in a roomful of boisterous 15-year-olds, you find one whose heart is breaking for the pigeon caught in the balcony, not knowing how to fly out through the bars, you know you have spotted a person with a good Heart Chakra.

Anahata brands bring harmony, calmness, generosity, grace, cooperation, unconditional love. Anahata brands offer payoffs to me, personally, such as they help me to maintain good relationships with others; help me to accept others

as they are; reflect my calm and peaceful nature; make me face unfriendly situations with calmness; bring out the kindness and compassion in me; make others come to me for solace; reflect my sentimental nature.

The innocent charm of the Hutch ads for instance, the heart tug of the Airtel grandfather playing chess, the reassurance of many finance and insurance brands, the ads that show sons and daughters taking care of their ageing parents, or the boys in the Surf and Lifebouy ads, appeal to the Heart Chakra needs in all of us. As does the spirit behind Hum Hain Na—be it the movie or the ads.

The most significant aspect of India’s changing Heart Chakra is our changing attitudes to the relationships in our lives. The key point is that the focus is on what we want from our relationships rather than what we are willing to give. The Power and the Glory, a Brand Chakras study on the global Indian showed that young Indians chasing power and fame put career ahead of family, and manage the situation by getting the family to buy into his vision for himself and explaining that they will all benefit from his success. Even friends and networking is important because “You never know when they will come in useful”. Friend or spouse, the expectation is inspiration and support in the hunt for fame and glory, over compassion and solace.

Mother India, a Brand Chakras study on mothers and children revealed that even mother’s love is not selfless any more. For all her effort, the mother wants her child to reach a position of power and influence—and tell the world that he got there because of her. While she may justify it as “I am saying all this for you only,” clearly she is judging her own success as a mother through the worldly success of her child. A study on Chakra Payoffs from matrimony revealed the dominance of Survival and Power Chakra payoffs in what young marriage prospects seek: security and stability Survival Chakra payoffs; courage, optimism, control- Power Chakra payoffs. Interestingly, men tended to seek peace, companionship and emotional support more than women, while women focused on money and freedom. As a talk show panel said the other night, money is sexier than even sex.

All consumer conversations around the payoff “helps me maintain good relationships with others” show a strong matlabi tendency. So we have a situation where food brands that earlier said “so tasty that you’ll want to share” now say “so tasty that you want it all for yourself”.

Perhaps the only anti-trend is the increasing value of social responsibility—but is even that genuine compassion or just one more way to get attention, build influence, and acquire a halo? Or an unconscious prayaschit for lack of genuine kindness and compassion in our day-to-day relationships?