''Miracles can happen,'' says the trailer for ''Winter's Tale,'' starring Colin Farrell and based on the 1983 novel of the same name.
Fair enough. But not long into the actual movie, you'll soon start to doubt that. Because you'll realize that this movie truly needs a miracle to save it from ending up a soppy, syrupy mess. And, sorry to say, that miracle never comes.
In (lukewarm) defense of screenwriter-director Akiva Goldsman (''A Beautiful Mind''), it's always tricky to adapt a popular novel. For one thing, people who've read it have preconceived notions of how things should be. And Mark Helprin's novel is a long one, meaning the author had plenty of room and time to weave his tale, as subtly as he wanted.
But Goldsman employs all the subtlety of a wrecking ball. From the beginning, we're asked to relinquish all sense of logic and reason, and accept that impossible, unexplainable things are happening. That would all be fine, in a film made with wit and charm and a breezy sense of magic. It's been done.
But not here.
The good news? Only this: Colin Farrell is hugely appealing, and his natural charm is almost enough to make you forget the silliness of the rest of it. Almost.
The film begins, briefly, in the present day, to which it will later return. A man finds a box, which he hopes will give him some clues to who he is. Which he doesn't know. But we don't really know that yet.
Flashback to 1895. An immigrant couple with a baby is trying to enter the country, but they're turned away due to illness. On the boat back home, they set their baby son afloat onto a tiny wooden boat, like Moses, so he can float back to the promised land.
Now we get to 1916 (stay with us.) That boy's grown up to be Peter Lake, who makes his way in New York as a petty thief. We learn he's at odds with a former boss, Pearly Soames (played by Russell Crowe in an almost comically unpleasant, sinister performance.) Soames wants nothing more