Floor food and door tests

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: Election time again, and for Internet junkies, hyperlink time again. Sales of idli/vada/sambhar by delivery go up again, with requests coming in for supply to be made “outside this office” or “at that dharna”, and sometimes even “in compound of police station”. Best way of recognising the delivery point is by asking for directions by banner wordings. It is another thing that when you get there, mostly they are sleeping on carpets or sitting on portable chairs. Boss is also happy, because it is totally an in-cash business. 

So one day I went on a delivery trip myself, because I thought the location was very interesting... it said ‘standing outside old JNU admin block building with the banner ‘Victims of CIC’’.

Now, I must tell you this secret—when I was younger, JNU was a very interesting place. If you ignored the jholawallahs, there were lots of young ladies in thin loose singlets or tight T-shirts, even if they were all disgruntled. As a young man, un-disgruntling fine young ladies can be a very educational vocation. It is also called ‘growing up fast’. But that was 30 years ago. Now it is the office of the Central Information Commission (CIC), adjudicating Right to Information appeals against Public Authorities. It is another thing that the Information Commissioners are in the habit of accepting hospitality, travel and gifts from the public authorities, as one MM Ansari did when he managed to run up a bill of Rs 1.36 lakh on a trip to ‘educate’ Indian Oil officials. This letter is up for viewing at www.flickr.com/photos/vm2827 if you don’t believe an idli delivery man.

In most cases, the body language and facial expressions of the public authorities visiting the CIC reflects absolute fear at one extreme to wariness at the other. But in all cases, the public authorities, often with retinues, are not happy being there. This in itself is a victory for applicants.

About 80% of the public authorities visiting the CIC office are unable to open the door to their own cars, and have to wait for the driver to stop, park, get out, run around the back of the car, and then open the door. This is terrible. As citizens, we must ensure a minimum level of physical fitness. All personnel should be tested to see if they are capable of opening their car doors. This, while delivering idlis.