The keyboard speaks louder now

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Hi, this is Sandy. Did you get my e-mail?” I overheard the one-sided phone conversation the other day at lunch, and it made me cringe because of many of the calls I get at work that start the same way.

As e-mail and instant messaging grow in popularity, people don’t pick up the phone as often. And when they do, they’re often talking in electronic shorthand. But it’s hardly a good opener to reference an e-mail that the recipient may or may not remember, nor is it a good way to launch a good business relationship, according to author Dianna Booher.

It’s basically a stalling technique, said Booher, who has written, The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Principles Every Leader Needs to Know and 21 other books on communication. So many people are expecting voice mail that when someone answers, they’re not prepared to converse, said Booher, who lives in Grapevine and does communication workshops for clients, including some in Houston.

A better approach is to start with the real reason behind the call, she said. For example: “Kelly, I was touching base with you to see if you were going to be able to attend the trade show in Atlanta next Thursday and Friday. If so, I want to arrange to get you a complimentary ticket.”

It puts the focus right on the topic and doesn’t lead the conversation into unimportant details, like whether or not you read your e-mail messages, Booher said. She also cautioned against starting out a conversation with a question, even a seemingly polite one.

It immediately puts people on the defensive and can sound accusatory, as if to say: “What do you mean, you didn’t read my e-mail?” It’s much more effective to say: “When I didn’t hear from anyone on your team last week, I started to wonder if maybe your situation had changed.” (Then pause and wait for a response.) Compare that to: “Why didn’t I hear from anyone on your team last week? Didn’t you say that someone would call?”

Knowing what to say on the phone is important. But it’s also imperative to figure out the best way to approach a new customer. “I have some customers I’ve never talked to,” said Michael Grove, an account executive with DBM, an outplacement and executive coaching firm in Houston. “We just communicate with e-mail.”