Idlinomics 101

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Boss is weeping into the idli batter. Not good for the Kancheepuram. His eldest has just told him that he does not want to follow him into the veggie food business, despite the prime locations at all the biggest malls in India, and many are now “the biggest”. Anybody can flip a pizza or cook chicken with skin on nowadays, says the heir. So he wants to become an economist instead. “How would that help me?” asked Boss, “all they do is make charts or attend seminars. Look at Montek or Debroy. Please serve them special chutney or extra ghee. Why not be an investment banker? Or start a cricket league or airline?”

“Don’t worry,” I said, “maybe he will start playing golf.” No consolation. “How will that help?” cried Boss. “He might meet Montek there, too,” I said. “I would rather he met economists like Prannoy or Kishore Biyani,” wailed Boss. At that moment, the heir walked in. For the last few days, he has been trying to explain this concept of market forces to me. Starts with somebody called Adam without an Eve. To me it sounds fearsome. Drill down, and it means that staff will have to be paid thrice their monthly EMIs and customers will pay on the basis of the brand of car they drive up in. Which is all fine, but what will we do when Kamalahassan the idli maker buys a new Merc or Shahrukh the Hyundai decides to walk to our hotel?

Truth is, according to Boss, that all economists have got it all wrong, which makes it 100% wrong. But being economists, they can only see the 100%, right or wrong, success or failure doesn’t matter. Bigger truth is that the way boss sees business, there is this big river, and it is full of money flowing past you. All you have to do is to see that your descendants are able to take as many buckets out as they want, so you teach them swimming and sailing. Other people, you don’t let them get near the river.