1. MSG Messenger Of God Movie review: The Superhero Arrives

MSG Messenger Of God Movie review: The Superhero Arrives

Oh my eyes. I was at last night’s premiere of MSG, Messenger Of God, and I’m still to recover...

By: | New Delhi | Updated: February 16, 2015 8:28 AM
Messenger of god, Messenger of god movie, Messenger of god movie review, movie review

The film ‘Messenger of God’ is long and excruciatingly awful only for non-believers.

Oh my eyes. I was at last night’s premiere of MSG, Messenger Of God, and I’m still to recover. The Dera Sacha Sauda chief who appears “In and As” in the movie, was right there, amongst us lesser mortals. And I was hard put to figure where there was more glitter, off or on screen.

But make no mistake, MSG is no movie. It is a lavish home video shot in a very homely style (‘coz silly sophistication would ruin it, no?), fashioned cunningly like your old-style Bollywood potboiler, for the delectation of his vast number of fan-followers. It can also be called “In Which Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh Insan Saves The World In 197 Minutes”.

“Koi kehta hai sant, koi kehta hai farishta, koi kehta hai guru, koi kehta hai bhagwaan, par hum toh hai sirf ek Insan (Some call me a saint, some an angel, some teacher, some god, but I am just a human)!” With this declaration, at which thunderous applause ensues amongst the genuflecting bhakts in the tony South Delhi auditorium, the Messenger Of God starts ticking off his list. Drugs? Dhishoom. Alcohol? Dhadaam. Bald baddie speaking bad English out to assassinate him? Bang bang.

At each dialogue, his followers, a motley collection of peroxide fashionistas in killer heels carrying holdall-sized bags which cost upwards of a lakh, modest salwar-kameez-clad old ladies, hyper-excited little children (one jumped up and down through the film, pumping his fist), roared approval. It was like being at a live sporting event, with arenas on both sides.

Like all superheroes, MSG too has a secret weapon: a liquid called ruhaani jam. Make no mistake, it is no evil intoxicant; it is a potent potion which will rid you of all desire to partake of sharaab. And doubtless send you straight off to do khoon daan. Yea, MSG believes in blood donation on a massive scale: the camera pulls back and we see rows and rows of smiling supine bodies, all busily donating away.

It could easily be a ’70s style masala film, starring the invincible hero, the sorry buffoon who is the butt of all jokes, the mandatory vaguely foreign-looking-and-sounding bad guy (this one looked a lot like Vin Diesel), and also, ta da, a blonde bimbette gushing all over the place (please, please, can I make a documentary on you, please, please, says she; he nods benignly, and she is in paroxysms). And the car-and-motorbike chases.

The “film” is long and excruciatingly awful only for non-believers. For his adoring followers, each scene is a super-hit. If Bollywood can, why can’t MSG? If Amitabh could do it back in the early ’80s (remember Yaraana?) why can’t he have suits with every single primary coloured sequin stitched in? Like Salman, he has his bank of pithy sayings. Like Ajay, he strides slo-mo. And unlike those that Aamir’s PK castigated, he has a direct connection to the Almighty: what else is a “Love Charger” (pronounced charzer, I’ll have you know) for?

Now waiting, with bated breath, for the MSG Fashion Line.

(shubhra.gupta@expressindia.com)

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  1. M
    Mats
    Feb 14, 2015 at 5:18 pm
    The last one is good "waiting,...for the MSG Fashion Line". I rolled over, holding my stomach, laughing with tears in my eyes. Excellent writing skills.
    Reply
    1. G
      gagandeep garg
      Feb 15, 2015 at 8:43 pm
      respected, if you consider it to be a lavish home video then why not you and everyone else who thinks so try to make one. at least in making one 1.you will plant at least a couple of trees, guruji(saint gurmeet ram rahim singh ji insaan planted and motivated to plant millions of trees). 2. you will inspire a couple of youth to leave behind drugs, guruji(saint gurmeet ram rahim singh ji insaan inspired 5 crore and brought happiness in their life). 3. donate blood, guruji(saint gurmeet ram rahim singh ji insaan motivated millions to donate blood and already has 3 guiness book of world records to his name in this field). 4. there are many more things but at least try these things to start with and there is a long list of 105 welfare works 15 highlighted in the movie
      Reply
      1. G
        gagandeep garg
        Feb 15, 2015 at 8:48 pm
        you must appreciate the good work done by guruji........
        Reply
        1. H
          harvey
          Feb 16, 2015 at 3:24 am
          I wud download dis and watch it wen I feel insanely stupid, I still can't belive people pay to watch this ROFL
          Reply

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